Izaya-kuun, What're You Doing?
by 8Iniquity8
Summary: After leaving Ikebukuro, Izaya is bored out of his mind and decides to return, to play game. While playing the game, why not get more players? The more the merrier ! (To tell the truth, I don't know where I'm going with this story Hahaha. This'll be interesting.)
1. Valentines Day?

**Prologue: It all starts on... Valentines Day was it?**

Ikebukuro was bustling with people, especially at morning rush hour. All sorts of people, in fact. Many held stoic expressions, in business attire as they pushed their way through the crowd to get to their destinations, others strided in a more carefree fashion, dressing more casual. It was incredibly noisy, with cars beeping impatiently and the voices of a thousand people chattering or bickering. To one's first glance, Ikebukuro would seem like a typical busy city, but there were strange rumors surrounding the area. Something about, a headless rider dressed in black, or a ferociously monsterous bartender that brutally murder you if you got on his bad side...

Many strange rumors about Ikebukuro.

And yet there was not a single one Izaya Orihara hadn't heard before for Shinjuku.

Izaya Orihara, the most troublesome underground information broker of all time, gave a deep sigh as he scrolled through message boards, eager to find something he hadn't known. Anything. He was dying for something he could entertain himself with, especially since after the Saika incident, he had gotten almost no action. Hiding out was boring. Shinjuku was boring. Izaya had wrung out every bit and last detail about the city and he hadn't found anything worth looking into. The little bits of information that caught his eye turned out to be boring stories made up by broke housewives or whatnot. Why couldn't Shinjuku be just as interesting as Ikebukuro? Ikebukuro seemed to have something hilarious happen everyday.

Even Shizu-chan would be better than this.

Izaya blinked at the thought that had popped in his head and almost snorted in laughter. That monster? Who was he kidding.

Shizu-chan should just die already.

Izaya knew that it wasn't safe to go back to Ikebukuro yet. Some yakuza groups had teamed up against him, and going back to the city before their anger died would not end up well. Even Shinra-kun wouldn't be willing to fix him up if the yakuza was going to be banging on his door. It was just one little bad deal, they didn't have to get so angry did they? It wasn't as if Izaya didn't see this before hand though, because he had started making preparations to move months before the Saika incident. It was too bad Namie-san ddin't decide to come along with him. He was starting to enjoy her boring, uninteresting company, with the exception of her coffee. Her coffee tasted great. Izaya wrote himself a reminder to start looking for a new secretary.

Now then, were was I? Izaya logged in the chat room, and started typing.

_- - Chrome has logged in_

_Chrome: Good evening_

_Setton: Hey_

_Tanaka Taro: Hello Chrome-san_

_Chrome: Hi. Where's everyone else?_

_Setton: It's unfortunate, but it seems that everyone's busy_

_Chrome: That makes me kind of curious huh..._

_Tanaka Taro: Well, today's Valentines Day after all_

Today's Valentines Day? Izaya blinked. Of course, he knew that, but he decided to disregard it under the thinking that it wasn't as important as other affairs. What in the world was he thinking. Valentines Day, the day where all females gush over males and hand them chocolates. Vaguely somewhere deep in the back of his head, he wondered if he was going to get some (which he doubted).

_Chrome: Ooh_

_Setton: Eh?_

_Tanaka Taro: You guys didn't know?_

_Setton: Oh no, I forgot..._

_Chrome: What Setton, do you have someone special to give chocolate to? haha~_

_Setton: I-It's not like that! Well, I mean, um, I have to go!_

_Chrome: You'd better hurry, shops close at around 5 pm today._

_Setton: Thanks!_

_Tanaka Taro: Bye Setton-san!_

_- - Setton has logged out_

_Chrome: Tanaka-kun, has someone given you chocolates yet?_

_Tanaka Taro: E-eh?_

_- - Bakyura has logged in_

_Bakyura: Yo! I heard this is the place where people who don't get chocolates from girls hang out! I'm here to join y'all!_

_Tanaka Taro: Bakyura-san, that's mean._

_Chrome: Welcome Bakyura, I'm sure there's plenty of room for you. Setton just left to buy chocolates._

_Bakyura: Wah, lucky!_

_Tanaka Taro: Haha... Chrome-san, are you giving chocolates to anyone? Not to be rude or anything..._

_Chrome: Waah, how bold._

_Tanaka Taro: S-sorry! /_

_Chrome: There's so many people I'd like to give chocolate to, but too many to count so I'm not going to bother._

_Bakyura: Oh come on, there must be that special someone Chrome-san~_

_Chrome: That person deserves it the least, I hate his guts_

Eep. Izaya quickly spun around in his chair and massaged his temples with his cold fingers. He had gotten a bit too pumped up while thinking about the monster that his persona slipped a bit. After clearing his thoughts, he spun back around and found that the chat had moved on already.

_Bakyura: I got two chocolates already! I beat you haha!_

_Chrome: Oh please, I'm sure it's one from your mom and one from your sister or something._

_Bakyura: Gaaah Chrome-san! Don't say it like that! ._

_Chrome: I speak only the truth_

_Bakyura: Gaaaah!_

After a while, the chat had gotten boring. Izaya wished he could burst into the chat as Kanra-chan, but Tanaka Taro knew who he was and it would surely dampen the mood quite a lot. Then they would leave. Then it would get unbearably boring. He sighed, and wondered if he should just dress up as a girl and go around Ikebukuro giving chocolates to the poor lonely humans that didn't get any. Then he would flash his man-bearings and watch his human's scarred expression. He almost laughed aloud at that, and was about to go back to the chat when a thought occurred.

Why shouldn't he?

Well, Ikebukuro is filled with the yakuza he moved away from just for the sake of staying away and keeping safe from.

No one would recognize him as a girl. Two balloons for boobs and a well-hidden crotch would make the difference between him and a girl next to nothing.

Why should he sacrifice his dignity for the sake of cross-dressing.

Izaya is bored.

Why should he go back and have to run away from Shizu-chan again?

Izaya is bored. Besides, a protozoan like him would barely be able to tell.

The whole idea is stupid.

Izaya is bored.

Izaya turned around to face the screen.

_Chrome: I'm have to go now. Stuff to do, places to see._

_Bakyura: Eh? Already?_

_Tanaka Taro: Bye Chrome-san!_

_Chrome: Yes, already. Bye guys._

_- - Chrome has logged out._

Now then, where did he keep his bras again...?


	2. Izaya-chan!

**Chapter 2: Izaya-chan**

Izaya Orihara kept his hood up, and tucked his chin into the red scarf he had wrapped around his neck. It was February, but this year was sure strange huh. Still kind of chilly. Izaya strolled happily down the streets, pockets full of chocolates he had bought beforehand and sharp pointy objects. Especially sharp pointy objects, so that he would be armed when a certain Shizu-chan comes rampaging with a vending machine in order to kill him.

He paused and shook his head. If he put it like that, it seemed as if he was certain Shizu-chan would come.

Izaya stopped beside another chocolate shop, seeing the discounts that were given to be pretty amazing. If Valentines Day could do this, he wished that there was some celebration where you had to give fatty tuna as present instead. Izaya hated sweets. If one would just think about it, chocolate was pretty much the equivalent of nicely shaped, sweet tasting, love making, poop. Absolute shit.

Of course, he didn't take to heart the fact that most of his precious humans loved this stuff. Humans sure are amazing~ Humans humans humans, man he loved them so much, but the ones that were staring at his butt was making him uncomfortable.

Izaya guessed the main reason being he was cross dressing as a girl.

Instead of his usual shirt and pants, he had worn the "sexy" black shorts and tights he had gotten from his sisters when they made fun of how feminine he was a few days back, along with the red shirt he had worn in middle school. As shoes, he had slipped on the arrogantly bright yellow running shoes that his sisters had sent him as a joke, after they had stolen all of his normal shoes because he had claimed that yellow was his least favorite color. He wore hair extensions to make his hair reach shoulder height and had applied mascara the way he had seen Namie do it every time in his bathroom before she went to meet her brother Seiji. Along with the green sunglasses he had acquired from some famous person's party and the red scarf around his neck, it made a questionable color scheme but it worked.

It made it blatantly obvious who he was, but he refused to let go of his fur coat. The fur coat was his life, next to humans, but he reluctantly wore the spare white fur coat he had in his storage box if he managed to ever lose his black one.

Tucking his extended hair behind his ear, he decided that this was either the stupidest idea he had ever had or the smartest. He could now freely go around Ikebukuro! At the expense of his pride. And he could do it without being recognized! But if he was, it would be most embarrassing.

Spinning around, he flashed the gazers a sparkling smile, and took off like the wind.

Where would he start? Izaya contently danced around the streets, attracting the strange looks of a few passing by. He had so much to look up! What about that conflict he had heard about between the gangs of scarves and the Dollars? What about the rumors that Saika had returned. Izaya squealed ecstatically, letting the Kanra inside him run rampant. So much to do! SO MUCH TO SEE! HOW HE LOVED HUMANS! By the time he realized what he was doing, he was standing with his arms open on top of a fire hydrant, there was a small crowd around him, taking pictures and whatnot.

"Geez guys~ Don't take pictures that's embarrassing~~~!" He delicately handed them each some chocolate, "Happy Valentines Day~!"

As the few people who took photos reached out for some chocolate, he grabbed their phones, wiped out all the information stored on it, and violently stomped on it a couple of times. The people watching could only watch in dismay and complete horror, as Izaya's creepy giggles rang through the air.

"Taking pictures without permission is a violation of personal space!" Izaya winked, and returned the half-broken phones, "May that be a lesson to you boys~!"

As Izaya strolled away happily, he heard their complaints fade off into the distance. At least they were nice boys, they didn't come after him demanding payment for the repairs. Good thing he was such a pretty girl. Or was that really a good thing? Being girly and all.

Ah, indecisiveness. Oy vey.

Izaya frowned and reminded himself that even though he looked much different as a girl, he had to still keep a low profile. The yakuza would definitely see through his disguise, if his closer enemies didn't.

Putting the hood back on and obscuring the view of his face with his scarf, he backed up into the familiar alleyways he had frequently used as escape and headed off into the distance. He had places to go, people to visit.

He distantly wondered if Shizu-chan would recognize him as a girl.


	3. New Secretary?

**Chapter 3: New Secretary?**

Izaya watched from a distance, as the gang of red scarves surrounded a yellow scarf, shouting angrily. His eyes glinted happily as he watched the lone yellow scarf coward into a corner, and judged from the surroundings, that the yellow scarf's company had managed to escape without him. Humans, so funny! Izaya had recently heard that the scarves had decided to temporarily band together after a few deaths from each organization, due to the random attacks made by some people who claimed themselves to be the Dollars. It was posted on some message board, and judging by the way the scarves talked to each other, he assumed that the scarves banding together was true.

"You should consider yourself lucky that we have this alliance," The taller red scarf growled, his lackeys stooped behind him menacingly, "Otherwise you would be real screwed up right now..."

The little yellow scarf gulped and let out a pitiful 'meep', before he was allowed to escape. The gang laughed at the yellow scarf's small retreating form, seeming quite triumphant. Izaya shook his head at them, thoroughly amused. Internal conflict wasn't going to help for their case but it was something to think about for him when looking down at the chess board. Seeing the group starting to disperse, he left the area, going through in his head what information he had.

"Fufu... FUFUFUFU," He giggled, jumping down from his perch on the wobbly building walls and making his way towards the exit door that was hanging on it's hinges, "Ah, how fun! How shall I use this..."

He had entered a large but old apartment building to get the perfect bird's eye view of the conflict from above, but he as he made his way through the settlement, he distantly remembered how the old wrinkly desk lady had told him about the rumors that this building was haunted. She had cackled at what she said herself, as if she made a hilarious joke, and went back to her mountain stack of paperwork. The lady was definitely a little senile. As he passed by the shabby doors, with cob webs hanging in the corners and thick clouds of dust floating around the air, he could see the lady's point. This would all be fixed with a janitor though, he didn't see why she didn't take the trouble to get someone to come clean the place up. Was there a certain reason for this? Could this place really be haunted?

Izaya shook his head in denial. He was over thinking it. Besides, he was an atheist, ghosts don't exist because if they did, that would mean there's an afterlife. And he wasn't looking forward to what afterlife had in store for him, if there was any that is.

Come to think of it, this place is really close to the red scarves' meeting place...

Another card to put in his deck, he supposed.

Izaya had to shield his eyes from the sunlight, as he stepped out of the stuffy building. The old woman had waved goodbye to him with a wide, toothless smile and he wanted to burn the image of the rotting gums and blood out of his mind as soon as possible. The woman gave him goosebumps. Lifting his hood back onto his head, he strolled down the streets and flipped open his phone to check for messages.

_Hello Nakura-san,_

_I've seen that you are looking for a new secretary and I'd like to apply. As you've requested, I've left my email and phone number down below._

_EMAIL _

_PHONE NUMBER_

_I realize that I don't fit the criteria, but please give me a chance._

_Sincerely, Alexander Sanders_

Izaya raised his eyebrows. Alex? Is he a foreigner? And he's a guy? He sighed. Guys were boring and rough, it was more fun if his secretary was a girl. A guy sauntering around his apartment, making him coffee, washing his dishes, and doing his laundry? Even if he loved all humans, that was a little far from his liking. But still, it was rare that someone wanted to apply for the job, and usually they had an ulterior motive. It was worth hearing out.

_Thank you for applying, Alexander-kun~! It's true that I've been searching for a secretary, 'cus my place has been a mess recently hehe!_

_Do you have the time to meet up? I'm in Ikebukuro at the moment~_

_~Nakura_

He sent the text, and placed his phone back in his coat pocket. Now, where should he go ne- ...The phone vibrated in his pockets. Another text? He reached for it and found that the Alexander Sanders had replied, not even 10 seconds after he had sent his text.

_Of course sir. I'm in Ikebukuro too at the moment, and I'll be able to come anytime that you'd find is most convenient._

Izaya smiled at that.

_How about now? Let's meet up at Russia Sushi or something, I'm hungry~ _

Again, Alex replied very quickly.

_Of course sir. I'll book an appointment and wait for you there._

Izaya almost laughed aloud. He turned around and started heading towards Russia Sushi, wondering what Alexander Sanders would be like.

Because so far, he seemed like the perfect dog.


	4. That Monster

**Chapter 4: That monster.**

Alexander Sanders didn't only act like a dog. He looked like one.

Izaya grinned with mirth, as he watched Alexander use his large clumsy hands to grip his chopsticks. He was barely managing to pick up the sushi and kept nervously glancing at Izaya as if for approval when he thought he wasn't aware. Izaya was always aware. Alexander had slick blond hair, and was tall and lean in build. He had a fair face, and sky blue eyes, that seemed clear like water. His cheeks seemed to always hold a faint blush, and he was suited in formal business attire, which stood out badly in the informal sushi shop.

"You seem hungry today Alex-kun," Izaya teased, finding great amusement in the way Alexander flushed in embarrassment and fumbled his chopsticks.

"Ah, no," Alex replied sheepishly, trying to get a grip on the impossible dining tools he had seen commonly used in restaurants, "This is how much I usually eat, so..."

Izaya giggled, and declared, "Some more fatty tuna for me please!"

"Oh yes," Simon replied, smiling happily as he started to gather ingredients, "Sushi good. Eat more sushi, you get happy."

"Yes I do," Izaya agreed, watching Alex observe the way Simon crafted the individual pieces in amazement. Simon stacked them in neat rows of two, and served the duo the large plate of fatty tuna.

"Are you new to Japan, Alex-kun?" Izaya asked, cheerfully biting into a piece, "Holding chopsticks is a lot of work isn't it~?"

"Y-yes," Alex blushed, and readjusted his hold on the two wooden sticks, "I came to Japan two months ago..."

"What did you do before you came to Japan?"

"I was a garbage man... cleaned up garbage..."

"Ew, sounds gross!" Izaya laughed, "Why would you want to become my secretary of all other jobs? Good pay?"

"That, and uh..."

"Yes~?"

"...nothing. Um, Nakura is a boy's name right?"

"Oh that," Izaya brushing back his extensive hair with a shrug, already wondering how he was going to explain his reasons for cross dressing, "We'll talk about that later. For now let's talk about you okay?"

The blush was back. "O-okay..."

After questioning, Izaya found that he fit just fine for the job. Other than not being a girl that is. That didn't mean he wasn't going to do some extensive background research on this Alexander Sanders when he got home. He had bid farewell to the large man and the man had saluted back before slipping off into the crowd. A salute? Strange method of saying goodbye. He added the little bits of information into his brain catalog. He had so much to think about~! Feeling happy and energetic, he started to leave the small shop, when he felt Simon's stare burning holes into his back.

"W-what?" Izaya smiled, turning around to meet the large buff man who always managed to tower over him without fail.

"Izaya, no trouble okay? Trouble no good. Sushi good."

"What~ you saw through me so easily haha!" Izaya lowered his voice from girl mode to how he usually talked, "Was it that easy to tell?"

"No, very hard. Almost no recognize, but Izaya like fatty tuna sushi. Fatty Tuna sushi good."

"I see, then I guess I'll have to stop ordering it then huh?"

"Izaya..."

"Relax Simon," Izaya smiled wearily, "I'm not planning anything just yet. I'm going to go home now then okay? No trouble."

Izaya nodded to Simon, turned around and started to walk away. He was eager to get home to his comfortable abode, and start putting his vast information network which had been dormant to good use. Simon was really something though, seeing through his disguise just like that. Maybe he should actually go buy some female clothing and make up. Perhaps it would make it harder to distinguish who he was.

"Izaya."

He was a good distance away from the shop, but Simon's voice was heard clearly. Izaya sighed and turned around.

"Yes Simon?"

"You very pretty as girl. Very pretty."

"Oh please Simon, that's not flattering at all," Izaya laughed, and with that, he turned around and slipped into the crowd. His hood still up, he followed the crowd's flow and checked his phone again for anything worth replying to. It had seemed that Alex had written to him again, saying that he enjoyed the meal at Russia Sushi and that he hoped to go again sometime. He texted back that he wanted to show Alex his headquarters tomorrow, and that maybe he could get working right away. When the positive reply appeared within the next few moments, he turned off his cellphone and slipped it back into his pockets. Alexander Sanders was a weird human, and he definitely wanted to start a background check so that he could start loving him as soon as possible. Not that he didn't love him in the beginning anyways.

"Love, love love, loove," Izaya sang, jumping over the cracks in the sidewalk, "I love everyone so much~ love, URK!"

The force of Thor's Hammer smashed into Izaya from behind, as he was sent flying into a concrete wall. In other words, a vending machine hit him. Quickly covering up his grimaces of pain, wobbled and pushed himself onto his feet. He looked up to find a Shizuo Heiwajima ripping a stop sign out of the concrete block it was sealed in, smirking darkly. A crowd started forming around them out of curiosity.

"IIIIIZAAAAAAYAAAAA-KUUUUUUN," He growled, not looking up from the ground, "How funny... I thought I told you to STAY OUT OF IKEBUKURO! RIGHT, IZAAAAYAAAA?!"

"W-what're you doing?" Izaya asked, playing the innocent confused girl, "Who's Izaya?"

"DON'T KID WITH ME YOU-" Shizuo looked up and his jaw dropped at the sight. Izaya would've quickly taken a picture if his phone hadn't been crushed under his butt, "W-W-W-WHAT'RE YOU WEARING?!"

"I don't get you geez!" Izaya cried, not at all faking the pain in his bruised shoulder, "Anyone, h-help me please..."

A intense silence took over Shizuo, as the crowd murmured disapprovingly at the bartender for bullying the cute weak girl who was now on the edge of tears.

"U-um, you _are_ Izaya... aren't you?" Shizuo asked weakly, dropping the all but too menacing stop sign on the ground with a clang.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about," Izaya whimpered, tears streaking down his face as he dropped onto his knees and shook as if in terror, "I'm sorry I'm so sorry, I... *sob* I don't know *hic*!"

Izaya went into an all out bawl, and gradually the crowd started to boo Shizuo and a few stood up to defend her.

"You should feel ashamed!" Some random person shouted.

"Wow, you actually made a girl cry?"

"BOOOOO!"

Izaya almost felt like bawling for real. In laughter. Shizuo was being convicted like the monster he was, and his absolutely helpless look only served to make the situation funnier. He wanted to record this moment and keep it in his heart forever, the image of Shizu-chan being cornered by the humans he so desperately searched to find approval and security in. How funny! Izaya trembled in the hilarity of the situation. THAT'S WHY HUMANS ARE SO-

"SHAAAADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!"

The sound of Shizuo's voice echoed around the square, and silenced the crowd due to the total surprise of the outbreak.

"Move out of the way," Shizuo growled menacingly, and pushed the few people standing in front of girl away, "Get outta here."

Before anyone could protest, he knelt down in front of Izaya, who had his face covered with his hands, and hesitantly made as if he was to pet her. At the last moment he pulled back due to the fear of breaking the delicate looking girl in front of him. Looking down, as if completely ashamed, he murmured, "I'm sorry. I thought you were someone else..." With his face covered, Izaya raised his eyebrows. He was shocked. Did that monster really just apologize to him? With that, the bartender walked away with the saddest expression on his face.

Izaya slowly moved to stand up, stumbling at bit to get the blood back into his legs and a couple of people came up to him asking if he was alright. He nodded quietly, and whispered a 'thank you' to them, before he started heading back to the apartment. He only managed to get as far as the alleyways before he couldn't help it. Izaya burst into laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS THE BEST SHIZU-CHAN! HAAHHAHAHAHAAAA!" Izaya screamed, and had to use the wall as support, "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, HAHAH OH GOD MY SIDES THEY'RE KILLING ME HAHAHAHA MAKE IT STOP HAHAHAHHAHA!"

It was ages before he managed to calm down, and by then he was completely seated on the ground, leaning against the brick wall and staring into the dark night's sky. Shizu-chan had just apologized to him, like a human. That monster. Did such a human act. To him of all people. It was almost incomprehensible, but it was totally a great laugh. Izaya had to force himself to stop thinking about it before he exploded again. Slowly standing up, he skipped frivolously back to the apartment, thinking about everything his precious humans had done for him today.

"TODAY WAS SUCH A GOOD DAY HAHAHA!" Izaya shouted up to the sky, laughing happily, "HUMANS ARE SO INTERESTING!"

That's why he loved them so much right?


	5. Puzzle Pieces

**Chapter 5: Puzzle Pieces**

The yawn that Izaya gave was so huge that it hurt his jaw and gave him goosebumps. Faint marks of weariness embraced his pale profile, as he rubbed the blurriness out of his eyes. He had gotten so excited that he finally had something to play with, that he had spent all night just figuring out the situation in Ikebukuro. He had to admit, it was quite the situation. Complicated twists here and there, all caused by the human behavior of his precious humans. How he loved them! He couldn't wait to start turning things around his way, and see how it all played out.

Concerning his new potential secretary, the human Alexander Sanders appeared to have only appeared 2 months ago. There was no other records of him, leading Izaya to the conclusion that Alexander Sanders must be an alias, or a new identity that he adopted. Then again, people from overseas tended to be harder to dig out information, so he might have missed something. He knew one thing for sure though, Alexander Sanders wasn't a only a garbage man. While trying (and failing miserably) to handle the chopsticks, Izaya had seen Alex's hands. They were rough and worn in certain areas that definitely screamed something other than garbage man. Just what was he doing before he came here...?

Izaya needed to search around some more.

He glanced over at the wig and the accessories he had used to become a female, abandoned on the spacious couch, and wondered if he should go out today too. If his predictions were correct, there was a fight that would take place somewhere in the afternoon and he hoped he could be there to watch. Unfortunately, he had told Alex to come over at the exact same time. Maybe Alex would want to come with him? Namie had refused every time he asked her to go record or tell him how a fight went out, and Izaya had hopes that Alex would go in his stead if he ever asked him to. Sometimes even Izaya didn't feel like going out into the city, risking his butt, just to watch a fight.

Or he could reschedule... Izaya didn't prefer that. His place was becoming more and more of a dump and his laundry wasn't doing themselves (and he was definitely not doing it himself either). What he needed most was a house husband, and house husband could be indirectly translated as secretary right? Besides, he could always fire Alex if he found a better replacement/more interesting human, but it was better to have someone who voluntarily wanted the job compared to someone he blackmailed or forcefully stuck the job unto. They wouldn't do their job properly, and he didn't want to get stabbed in his sleep or have his coffee spiked with laxatives or something.

Izaya remembered the last time that happened and groaned. He couldn't leave the bathroom for weeks. He pretty much lived there! Humans could be so cruel sometimes, they were fortunate he loved them just enough to forgive them for that incident. So fortunate. Because if he didn't, he would've done some pretty inexplicable things that would cause a lot of harm and distress among his lovely humans and surely no one would want that, would they?

He tapped his pen on his desk, the dim white light of the computer screen's glow reflecting off of his face. Dammit, he thought, as he rubbed his eyes again. His eyes weren't holding up. Izaya reached into his drawer and grabbed his pair of glasses. He didn't like his glasses. They sat uncomfortably on his face and it made his nose feel weird. Perhaps it was time for a new pair, but he didn't have the time for that, therefore it was deemed Namie's job to buy a pair for him. She just had to choose the most uncomfortable one.

Namie wasn't here anymore though. Alexander Sanders... Izaya decided he was going to keep a close eye on him. He intended to figure out every corner of his new play human, so that he could manipulate Alex more as they got to know each other (and it was in his intentions that they got to know each other very well). He recalled when he first got Namie, and how cold and wonderfully smart she was, what a human! He had lost most interest when he found out about her crush on her brother Seiji, because then all her actions were easily explained. After all, there wasn't a single moment of the day she wasn't thinking about her little brother. It was like figuring out how a maze ran. There isn't much more to find out after that, other than to use the chess piece to it's fullest.

But then again, humans always have managed to surprise him, haven't they?

Hm...

Izaya jolted, not realizing when he had closed his eyes. Was he really that tired? Enough was enough. Izaya stumbled over to the couch and collapsed beside his hair extensions, curling up beside the pile of female clothing. Maybe a quick nap would suffice. He didn't want to completely waste the day, after all, there was so much to do...

_"Izaya-kuuuun," Shizu-chan drawled, smirking dauntingly as he yanked a pedestrian crossing sign out of the ground, "Haven't I told you not to come back to Ikebukuro?"_

_"But Shizu-chan~" Izaya complained, slowly backing up for space, "Ikebukuro's just too much fun! You don't see gang wars or headless motorcycling women just anywhere you know~"_

_"HAH?" Shizu-chan replied, "Is that it?"_

_"I wouldn't expect a monster like you to understand," Izaya shook his head, almost as if he pitied Shizuo, "Oh well, at least you tried."_

_"SHADDUP!" Shizu-chan roared, and started to come after Izaya who had long started sprinting away, "GET BACK HERE IZAAAAAYYYY-"_

"-ya... Izaya Orihara, are you there?"

"Mh..." Izaya groaned, felt around for his phone. That voice, it was definitely Shiki-san. Did he finally have some work for him to do? He lazily stayed still, eyes still closed as his hand searched for his phone. Ah, found it. It was in the white coat's pocket.

"Shiki-san?" Izaya licked his lips, mouth feeling dry after the nap, "To what do I owe the pleasure...?"

"Did you just wake up?" Shiki asked, before sighing, "Nevermind. Anyways, I have a job for you."

"Of course~ for what other reason would you call?" Izaya laughed, rolling onto his side, letting his arm dangle off of the couch.

"I need information on a person who has escaped confinement," Shiki explained, "This person has assassinated quite a few people already, mostly people of high authority. The American black market wants him back, his talents would be highly valued."

"Yeah, that's all good and well," Izaya answered, rubbing his nose, "Do you have any information on him at all?"

"...No."

"Really? Wow, the Americans must not trust you very much~"

"It's not that," Shiki sighed, seeming more tired than ever, "It's just that this person is not only skilled in killing, they're also quite skilled in deception."

"So you're telling me you don't even know if it's a male or female."

"...No."

Izaya rubbed his temples, feeling the headache coming already, "And you expect me to find him, her, whatever... how?"

"I'll leave that to you," Shiki replied curtly, "After all, you _are_ the greatest informant of all time, as you've boasted, aren't you?"

Izaya rolled his eyes. He didn't need that.

"Fine, I'll see what I can do about it but don't expect too much."

"Goodbye greatest informant of all time."

*click*

brrrrrrr...

He hung up and dropped the phone to the floor. Another puzzle piece he had to fit into the puzzle. He had small pieces that weren't really important and large pieces that had to be put in, all at his disposal. Izaya just needed to find a way to fit them together nicely, and then let it all play out. Maybe he could even push Shizu-chan into it, and disrupt his so-called, "peaceful" life. The thought of Shizuo brought a scowl to Izaya's face. Why did he have to have a dream about him of all other people. Why couldn't he just have a dream about humans~?

Glancing at the clock, he saw the time. It was nearly afternoon already. Had he really slept that long? It only felt like a few seconds to him.

He supposed it was time to start preparing.

There was a lot on his checklist of things to do for tonight.

* * *

><p>Hey pals. Friends. Buddies. It's me, the author. Yes, hi, nice to meet you too.<p>

I wanted to thank y'all for reviewing because it warms my little heart up a lot, and by a lot, I mean enough to want to write a bonus story to satisfy the fan girls within you. Or satisfy the fan girl within me, whatever.

Little snippets of the fanfic that I didn't want to add. It'll be cool, trust me.

Or not.

I'm just a stranger after all.

:'(

**Bonus Story 5.5: Call ended.**

...Izaya felt around for his phone, eyes clammed shut, too stubborn to actually make an effort. Unfortunately for him, months of abuse and abandonment have rendered his house in a worse condition that he had originally predicted. And by worse, it really meant terrifyingly horrific.

Something sticky. Ew, what was that?

Something wet. Please let it just be water...

Something gooey... gross.

Something... something.

Something warm. He didn't even want to know.

Ah! Found it. It was in the white coat's pocket.

"Shiki-san?" Izaya asked, licking his lips, "To what do I owe the pleasure...?"

"Izaya, can you hold the phone properly, it's hard to hear you."

Izaya groaned and realized he was holding the phone up-side down. As he tried to turn it with one hand, he fumbled and it fell to the ground with a clatter. Shiki waited impatiently, as he listened to Izaya attempt to pick up his phone without budging from his comfortable position on the couch.

*Clatter*

"Ah shit..."

*Slide... slide*

"Stop moving around would you..."

*Beep*

Brrrrrrr...

Shiki stared at the phone, a forever on-going high-pitched groan emitted from the receiver. Yes, that's right. Izaya had hung up. 'Call ended' the display read, in bold font too. Sighing deeply, he redialed the phone number, and waited for the call to connect.

"Izaya, what are you-"

"IS THAT YOU SHIKI?"

Shiki winced, "You're holding it too close to your mouth."

"Oh really? Sorry about that."

"Izaya, let's get straight onto business here, I-"

*Beep*

Brrrrrrrr...

Shiki stared at the phone, as the high-pitched groan once again emitted from receiver once again. Suddenly, he received a call from Izaya Orihara. He picked up.

"I'M SO SORRY SHIKI-SAN HAHA~ I WAS ASLEEP SO NOW MY FINGERS ARE ALL JELLY AND-"

"You're holding it too close to your mouth again."

"Ah, sorry! Haha, now what were you about to sa-"

*Beep*

Shiki stared at the 'Call ended' displayed on the screen, and began to feel super tired. Yes.

This was going to take a while.


	6. The Dog

**Chapter 6: The Dog**

"Good afternoon Alex-kun," Izaya smiled, opening the door for the taller man, "Nice day isn't it, come in!"

"...ah," Alex replied, stepping into Izaya's abode seeming quite confused, "Are you..."

"I'm Nakura-chan! How could you forget?" Izaya laughed, and watched in amusement as Alex noticed the wig laid astray on the couch, "Alright, I'm kidding. Let me introduce myself," He closed the door and leaned back onto the wall, watching Alex's expression carefully, "I'm actually Izaya Orihara. Ah, and I'm a guy. Did you notice I was a guy Alex-kun?"

"No sir..."

"Wah, I'm good!" Izaya skipped around his desk and collapsed into his seat, "Let me show you what I do."

The introduction lasted briefly, as he demonstrated his skills briefly and gave Alex a small tour of his apartment. He carefully explained what he needed where, what time he usually wanted a drink, and what at all expense not to touch (a.k.a. his computers, his files, his box of embarrassing items Mai and Kyo had brought over, etc.) Izaya noticed Alex warming up to him, and he smirked. That was good. A dog should become very loyal to it's master after all.

"Alright, can you make coffee?" Izaya asked, leaning on the counter as he watched his new secretary-to-be looking around, "I expect good coffee while you're around."

"Of course!" Alex smiled.

"Good," Izaya grinned, "Feel free to use any ingredients I have in my fridge. I bought them while they were on sale, but sadly, I don't cook much. Would you happen to cook Alex-kun?"

"I lived alone for a while, so yes..."

"Thank you," Izaya sighed feeling relieved, "I haven't eaten home made food in so long."

The conversation lasted a while, as the duo moved to sit down at the dinner table, before Izaya noticed the time. There was around one more hour before the fight between the scarves would start. He excused himself, and told Alex to look around or something while he got into his girl get-up. Seeing Alex's confused look, he quickly explained the reasons for pretending to be of the opposite gender, as the yakuza were out to get him.

"I mean, you didn't even notice I was a guy did you?" Izaya chuckled, and left to retrieve his clothes, "I hope you'll be able to protect me Alex-kun~"

"Of course, sir."

Having already left the room, Izaya thought he might've misheard, but it assured him of his own safety. Alex held the aura of someone strong yet feeble, and his instincts told him that Alex would be a very enjoyable human indeed. He adjusted the hair extensions and tugged up the shorts, feeling a little annoyed at how troublesome the procedure most girls went through every morning was. And then there was the mascara, which he was still getting the hang of. What, in the history of all things, stated that longer eyelashes made someone more beautiful? Ah, humans, always so amusing.

"I'm ready," Izaya declared, speaking in a more girly sense, "Izaya-chan is ready to go observe her humans today like always~"

Dressing up had taken longer than he had hoped,but Alex was still seated at the table as if fifteen minutes hadn't passed at all, checking his touch screen phone, which everyone seemed to own nowadays. The only thing that had changed, was the thermos-like object he held in his hands.

"What's this?" Izaya asked lightly, poking at the thermos.

"I made some tea for you," Alex replied, cheeks flushing a little as he put down his phone, "It seemed that you were going out, and it's cold so..."

Izaya smiled and thanked Alex, asking him to come with him. He explained the fight that was about to occur, and he expected it to be enjoyable of he had warm tea to go along with it. Alex nodded obediently, like a mutt should, and they set off for Ikebukuro, Alex trailing protectively behind. Izaya remembered how he had been against the idea of having a male secretary, and took it back. If he had read Alex right so far, and the dog was willing to go with him to places, it was going to be like having a house cleaner, a body guard and a desk helper all at once. What a useful dog.

He arrived at the old, so called 'haunted', building he had come by the day before, followed by Alex, who had slowed his wide strides to keep up with Izaya's shorter ones. The old woman smiled at him, once again fully scaring him with her horrendous gums. He nodded his salutations to the woman, before running towards the roof, Alex close behind. Once he arrived at the top, a small gust of wind blew his hood back, and sent a chill down his spine.

"Tea," he demanded, and Alex complied with a smile.

Sipping the tea cautiously, (he hated getting burnt), he glanced down from above to see the two scarves groups approaching from either side. It was Blues against Reds today eh? He grinned happily, and leaned back on his heels as he dipped his head over the building railings. Alex hesitantly approached and stood beside him, his curious gaze catching Izaya's attention.

"Is the tea good?" He asked, eyes hopeful and wide.

"Yup, it's quite nice," Izaya stood on his toes and patted Alex on the head, "Good doggie."

Alex blushed.

"Ah, it's starting~" Izaya sang, and for the rest of the time, the two stood silently beside each other, other than the occasional shouts of encouragement Izaya would give one of the gangs, one observing the other, the other observing the fight.

Izaya almost laughed aloud when he saw Alex's facial expression.

What a dog.


	7. Chocolates for Everyone

**Chapter 7: Chocolates For Everyone**

Not soon after the fight ended, the information broker explained to Alex the salary he would receive, what time he was expected to be at office, what his jobs would mostly consist of (in other words, housework). Upon asking if he found the position agreeable, Alex agreed readily, and from then on, it was officially decided that he would become Izaya's new secretary. Feeling productive, Izaya took Alex around with him as a bodyguard, so he could snoop around the city without running into an annoying mess of trouble.

When Izaya stuck his hands in his pockets, he felt a few small rectangular boxes and realized that he still had the chocolates from yesterday. He hadn't given them all out yet. Unfortunately he hated sweets and processed foods; chocolate was no exception.

"Hey, Alex-kun," Izaya chirped, and glanced up at his new secretary bodyguard, "It's a day late but..." He grabbed a handful of the wrapped chocolate boxes, and shoved them into Alex's hands, "Happy Valentines Day!"

Alex blinked and flushed red, flustered at the action, "Wait, but I-"

Izaya wasn't listening. He was pleased that he had gotten rid of all that nasty brown stuff. Chocolate was unhealthy, fattening, and caused cavities, all of which Izaya wasn't particularly fond of. It was essential that he stayed in top condition in order to face Shizu-chan, otherwise he would die horribly (it pained him to admit). He even went as far as measuring his weight every time he finished taking a bath to make sure he wasn't becoming overweight or something.

He reached into his pocket to check his phone. It was 3 o'clock in the afternoon. He was getting hungry.

"I'm hungry~ why don't you head back first and make me something?" Izaya glanced back at Alex, who walked obediently behind him, "I'll go back in a few minutes... Make it delicious~"

"Okay," Alex nodded, saluting briefly before heading towards Izaya's apartment, every now and then turning back and staring at Izaya with his sky blue eyes, as if not wanting to leave.

Izaya rolled his eyes. What a dog.

As he strolled along the sidewalk, he contemplated on Ikebukuro's activities, and how he wanted them to play out. The scarf gangs had teamed up with each other, but slowly, their inability to get along was separating them more and more. They would most likely break up in the next couple of weeks, meaning that the unison was for naught, and that the people, or the self-proclaimed 'Dollars', would most likely start attacking again. The 'Dollars' ceased attack ever since the team-up, only inflicting harm on the scarf groups that dropped out. It almost seemed as if they wanted the gangs to stick together and slowly destroy themselves from the inside.

Come to think of it, there were some yellow scarves included in the team-up too...

Izaya grinned, wondering how his friend Masaomi Kida-kun was doing...

Had anyone contacted him~?

He had discarded his old phone, knowing that it was traceable by the yakuza, therefore if any of his old 'friends'/customers had contacted him it would've never gone through considering it was now just a bunch of ashes on his old burnt chess board. Watching it burst into flames as the match lit the oil was like watching an old part of him perish, but he knew he really hadn't changed at all. It was just burning an old memory away.

Plus it wasn't like he had lost the contacts at all. Oh no, those were too precious to discard. Izaya tapped his new phone and glanced at the contacts, finding everyone's numbers and contact information safely intact. That was good.

"IIIIIIIIIZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYAAAAAAAA-"

Izaya turned around, to find his least favorite bartender, most hated being of all time, pointing at him threateningly but cutting himself halfway as if he realized he made an error. He almost snorted in laughter. So the monster was learning from his mistakes eh~?

"H-hi...?" Izaya said innocently, eyes wide as if in wonder and surprise, "Are you pointing at me?"

Shizuo immediately retracted his hand and shoved them in his pockets, "Sorry, force of habit," he stated distastefully, thinking about how it was all the detestable flea's fault, before remembering who he was talking to; the girl who he had scared so badly yesterday. Feeling bad, he started to back away, while muttering, "sorry 'bout that,"

Under normal circumstances, Izaya would've just left it at that, not wanting to be under Shizu-chan's presence any longer than needed, but a brilliantly cruel plan slowly started to form in his mind. Something that would surely crack the trust that monster had in humanity, and enable Izaya to once again see the sufffering, sad and depressed face Shizu-chan had made the day he slammed the vending machine into the 'innocent little girl that was only minding her own business', Izaya-chan.

"Wait!" he cried out, reaching for Shizuo's sleeve to stop him from walking away, but he tripped on his own shoelace. He almost didn't believe it himself, that he was able to perform such a clumsy and stupid act, but he did.

Surprisingly, Shizu-chan had managed to catch him before he managed to give a painful salutations to the ground. Izaya sighed in relief that he managed not to get bruised or hurt, because the protozoan's punches was already enough to inflict unwanted pain unto him.

"Thanks," Izaya murmured, giving Shizuo a sheepish and happy grin, before rambling a bit like he had seen other girls do, "I-I don't usually trip myself, and that was a one time thing so don't go thinking I'm clumsy okay?"

"Ah..." Shizuo replied, a little surprised. The girl he had made cry was now smiling at him, completely fine with being touched by him. He was convinced that he would never see anyone he didn't quite know approach him without fear or anger again, ever since he had met Celty and the others. This girl knew his strength, she had seen him, so why was she smiling at him like he was a long-lost friend of some sort?

"Um," Izaya said quietly, feeling the awkwardness settle in. He quickly ran over what he was going to say, before brightly looking at him in the eyes and stating strongly, "I-I've read on internet how strong you are. I mean, to be able to lift a truck! That's pretty amazing. Everyone says that you're a scary person and that you should be avoided but... isn't that kind of lonely?"

Izaya's hands gripped the other's shoulders gently, still being supported by Shizuo's arms, and mentally grimaced. He was being held by the monster, and it was giving him goosebumps, but he continued, "Every since I met you yesterday, I know they're wrong. You scared me a lot, and I did cry because of that, but you said 'sorry'! And you looked so guilty when you walked away... so, don't feel sad! I know that you're actually really a kind person, so..."

He felt around his pockets for the last box of chocolate he had stored for just in case if he needed to generously donate it to one of his precious humans, and presented it to Shizuo, "I know it's a day late, but Happy Valentines Day! It may be a little melted, because I held onto it for so long, and uh..."

Izaya felt his face heating up as he spoke. This was the cheesiest and sappiest speech he had ever made, "I mean... I..." Then, he realized that he was still in that monster's embrace. Feeling disgusted, he gently pushed himself away and stood up, "I uh..."

Not knowing what other shit to spit out, he placed the box in Shizuo's hands and backed off, "Th-thankyougoodbyeseeyoulater?" he rambled, and ran off. After a while, much further from where he and Shizu-chan had bumped into each other, and on his way back to the apartment, he wondered if that exit was a little too sudden, or if his performance was effective enough. Whatever, he thought, because he already knew that he had caught the monster's attention.

But he didn't know just how much his speech had touched the monster's heart.


	8. Nothing To Do

**Chapter 8: Nothing To Do**

Izaya spun around in his chair endlessly, a scowl deeply engraved in his face. Alex glanced at him, worried he was going to sprain a face muscle. The reason for the discontent was due to the fact Izaya was busy making comparisons between his new secretary, and Shiki-san's wanted murderer. They both seemed to be from overseas, they both recently came to Japan, and it would explain Alex's very rough hands... And that weird salute thing he kept doing.

Izaya knew better than to jump to conclusions, but remembering how coincidental the world could be, he was a little concerned. (A demon sword possessor, a gang leader and a hugely popular website/gang starter JUST HAPPENED to become friends at the same middle school without knowing who the other was, though Izaya did help out a bit, the coincidence was a miracle).

"Alex-kun, I've noticed you have very rough hands~" Izaya stated nonchalantly, deciding to be frank, "did you do swordplay or something before being a garbage-man?"

"Yes sir," Alex nodded his head, as he hung up Izaya's laundry in the laundry room, "I did get into it, but I dropped out..."

"Ehh? Why?"

"I... I lost interest..."

That didn't serve to ease Izaya's suspicions at all, only leading him to deepen his scowl.

"Sir, if you keep frowning like that, you'll get wrinkles," Alex said lightly, laughing while he gestured to his face as if demonstrating where the wrinkle would be.

Izaya sighed and gave up. If he wanted to know if Alex was innocent, he would need proof. And proof wasn't coming by scowling and contemplating. Plus, only a killer who is a stupid protagonist of some manga would name himself a 'garbage man', saying that he cleaned up 'trash' for a living. So cliche. Realizing he could be almost offending all the garbage men, he mentally said 'sorry', rubbing his hands together as if giving a prayer of apology. Being a garbage man didn't affect his love for them after all.

His love for humans was a love for all humans~

He leaned back on his seat, and set his feet on his desk, using them as a push off to spin himself around. And around, and around. Today was to be a quiet day, the breaking point between the gangs, therefore there was nothing much to do. Tomorrow, all hell would break loose and he would relish in ecstasy, but today was going to be boring and full of tension. Tension. Hmmm. Izaya didn't want to push things too far and reveal that he had a little bit of a hand in the events, but the thought of tension made him excited. Tension made humans make rash decisions, eventually either they would fall or rise.

Tomorrow would be a good day.

Hmmm.

Tomorrow...

Seemed very far away from the moment right now, Izaya groaned, and began to spin himself faster, hoping that he could spin himself into tomorrow. What could he do if there wasn't his precious humans around to entertain him? Do the job Shiki-san gave him? Like hell, when there was so many better things to do, but what? ...nothing. Nothing came to his head at the moment. The job Shiki-san gave did pay a pretty penny after all, but that pretty penny was the pretty penny he always received. He would survive.

Of course, Shizu-chan!

He should go mess up Shizu-chan's day!

Izaya nearly leaped off of the spinning chair, legs itching for activity, but he waited for it to stop rotating so the world would stop tilting and turning. When did he start spinning at that ferocious speed? Mysteries, always a mystery. He grabbed his fur coat and was about to head out, when Alex stopped him.

"Sir, are you heading out?" He asked, airing out Izaya's t-shirt.

"Yep."

"Shouldn't you dress up as a..." Alex's cheeks reddened, "Uh, you know, girl so-"

"-No one recognizes me?" Izaya continued, before giving a dark smirk, "If I do that, then Shizu-chan won't recognize me, so not this time..."

"But what about the yakuza?"

"Ah, they should be busy enough with themselves today. Gang wars, all of that," Izaya rolled his eyes, "I'll be going now, Bye~"

He turned around and closed the door behind him, leaving Alex awkwardly standing alone in the hallways, holding Izaya's red boxers dripping with water. Alex scratched his head, wondering why Izaya was in such a rush before turning around and heading back towards the laundry room, humming slightly as he went. One thought resounded in his head.

Who was Shizu-chan?

Meanwhile, Izaya skipped towards the street, his flashy smile radiating like a thousand suns. Finally, something to do. Ever since morning, he had been slouching around, not in the mood for anything, and meeting Shizu-chan's angry, pissed off face would definitely get him back to working mode. Think of it as a wake up call from a loud annoying alarm clock that wouldn't stop ticking even if you stabbed it with a knife (which was most definitely true, the monster just wouldn't die).

He skipped around Ikebukuro's alleyways, peeking around corners and smiling at strangers, also effectively creeping them out. As he had said, the yakuza had lessened their numbers today. Grand yakuza gang meeting today, after all. Deciding there was no trouble prancing out in the open, just for today, he frolicked towards the crowd and blended in with ease, even with his unusual hopping and jumping. Ikebukuro must've be used to this type of stuff by now, because everything unusual was usual.

Izaya spotted the bartender slouched on a park bench, smoking cigar. Feeling a grin creep across his face, he sneakily approached him.

Shizuo, on the other hand, was feeling pretty content. Someone had understood him yesterday. Just someone normal, even seeming to like him, to go as far as giving him chocolate and thanking him for something he didn't understand. She didn't see him as a monster or someone to keep away from. It assured him he was less of a monster than the public believed him to be.

He realized his cigar had become uselessly used up, and he reached his hand in his vest to take out his packet of cigars. He stuck one in his mouth, and tried to light it with his lighter. Shit, he thought, as the lighter wouldn't work. He realized he must've broken it the last time he beat the other stupid tenant-who-doesn't-pay-his-bills up.

"Oyah, it seems it's broken. Let me help you."

"Thanks," he muttered, as he felt a small spark of warmth, then he tasted the nicotine coming back as strong as ever. He opened his eyes, realizing someone had just lit his cigar for him, and turned to find a detestable flea seated comfortably beside him.

"Hi~ Shi-zu-chan~~~!"

Izaya watched amused, as Shizuo's face contorted into a look of hatred and anger, and began to count down from five for the explosion.

Five, four, three, one.

"IIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAA!" Shizuo roared, standing up and flipping the park bench, only leaving enough time for Izaya to jump from his seat and proceed to use the flying park bench as a spring board over the angered bartender.

"Wah, I helped light your cigar and this the thanks I get?" Izaya said smoothly, looking amused, as he landed with grace onto the sidewalk, "I hope you die soon from lung disease Shi-zu-chan~!"

"SHUUUUUUUUT!" He stomped his way towards the flea, every step leaving a mark in the concrete, "UUUUUUUUUUUP!"

He swung a fist at Izaya, grabbing a lamp post in process while the informant fell back, dodging it by a hair's width, and flipped back onto his feet. Public property was thrown in one direction while knives were thrown in the other. The crowd gathered around backed up, and many fled from the scene, afraid to get hit by the flying objects, both of which could possibly be lethal (the vending machines or the knives? Hm, decisions.)

By the time Izaya got back to his apartment, 2-3 hours had passed, leaving Izaya in a very productive and content mood. He had managed to swipe the monster a few times on the neck, and a little deeply too. He mentally made note that Shizu-chan's neck was better to cut than anywhere else -which usually only went in as far as 5 centimeters. Izaya realized that the only place he hadn't tried cutting, was the monster's little monster, which he made sure to aim at so the monster wouldn't be able to make more monsters. Thinking of more little replicas of Shizu-chans running around and wrecking havoc gave Izaya a headache.

"You look happy," Alex stated the obvious, observing Izaya happily spin around in his seat.

"Yep."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yep."

"Hm..."

Izaya stopped spinning for a moment and glanced at Alex, who was hard at work organizing official documents and valuable papers. Izaya thought he had noticed a slight hint of a certain emotion he was most familiar with flash across his secretary's face, but as for now, Alex held a blank and virtually emotionless expression. Izaya felt a grin coming on, and fell into a fit of giggles.

"What's funny sir?" Alex inquired, looking up for a moment with curiosity.

"Nah, it was nothing~!" Izaya sang, and continued to spin around in his chair, with an almost satisfied look.

Alex blinked, and looked back down at his work. His employer sure was a strange one.


	9. Kanra-chan is back!

**Chapter 9: Kanra-chan is back~!**

Dressing as a girl was sometimes very annoying. Izaya roamed the streets, dressed the usual get-up he wore when dressing as a girl, but this time it was different. It was cold. Black leggings was not very warm, and he was very thankful for his spare longer fur coats that he kept around for winter months. Unfortunately, his sisters had slipped a red sock into the washer along with his preciously pure white coats, coloring it pink, therefore he had refused to wear it ever again after mourning for the color of the coat for a time period of a few hours. As a girl, he figured pink was fine.

He skipped along the streets, bobbing his head back and forth as he skipped from one conversation to the next, playing a little game with himself.

A group of old ladies passed by, saying "...the vegetables are on sale..."

Next conversation.

A group of middle school girls, "...every day of the week! Honestly..."

Next conversation.

A couple buried in each others arms, "...I love..."

A kid singing a nursery rhyme, "...manju's~ so delicious..."

"...but I only..."

"...can't help it if I..."

"...NEED TO GO P..."

"...eeeeeeeeh~!"

Izaya paused and put it all together; _The vegetables are on sale every day of the week! Honestly I love manju's~ so delicious but I only can't help it if I NEED TO GO Peeeeeeeh~_. Hm, interesting, he had created better though. Izaya decided to start anew, at the two tall men dressed in a large black coat that hid their face, their hands in their pockets, along with the nervous looking shorter old man who stumbled along in between them.

"...please don't kill my family...!"

Izaya slowed down and stopped in his tracks.

Oh man~ he heard something interesting.

He lifted his audaciously pink hood above his head and skipped along behind the men, keeping a safe distance away from them not to notice. His honed skills of stalking and listening (which under normal circumstances would be considered creepy) enabled him to still keep close enough to hear them talk.

"Please please please..." The old man mumbled repeatedly, as if performing a mantra. Sweat glistened on his forehead and he could almost feel himself crumbling from the pressure of the two larger men who could easily end his life. He had seen strength, as it had been displayed on his partner in debt who now resided for the next few years in the hospital, and the two glistening guns strapped under their coats only made him feel nauseous. They were going to shoot him when they arrived if he didn't have the money now. Which he didn't.

The two larger men stayed stonily silent, as they ruthlessly stared down at the balding man who was now cowering and struggling to keep up the pace.

Izaya smiled at the older man, already able to see what he must've been thinking. Something along the lines of, 'more time, if only I had more time. I don't want to go yet.' Quickly put into a cheerful mood, he slipped into the shadows and stealthily followed the odd trio, thinking of the wonderful things he could do to spark things up a bit. Of course, he still had to stay hidden, it was the yakuza he was dealing with and he didn't want his loyal customers of the past to find out he was back again.

One of his many cellphones vibrated, causing him to jolt slightly. He bit his lip in irritation, reminded himself to turn off all distractions while stalking, and quickly checked what it was trying to tell him. What he saw brought a smile to his face. It was time to make the call.

Once again happy, he slipped deeper into the alleyways, keeping his eyes on his three targets, and waited for the call to go through. _Brrrrrrt..._

"H-Hello?" a hesitant girl stuttered, seeming to be nervous and perhaps a little frightened.

"Ah~ Hello, it's me~ Nakura~" Izaya sang playfully, keeping his voice low and quiet, "It's time~!"

A uncomfortable silence. Izaya could see it with his mental eye, the girl paling and scared, hands cold and clammy, her face screwed up in fear. How amusing.

"Y-yes Nakura-san," she murmured quietly like a good human.

"Good~" Izaya grinned, and he heard the call end with a click.

He quickly checked if he had to make anymore calls on his checklist and put his phone on standby. Now he could follow the three without anything bothering him. Sharp, maroon eyes focused solely on the three humans among all, he slipped in and out of shadows with ease, darting back and forth, with his long pink coat billowing behind him. After a few moments, his three new playthings seemed to stop in front of a shady-looking two-story store that was hidden within a deep alleyway full of wild cats and garbage. Flies flew around the air relishing in the stench, buzzing in Izaya's face, but he barely noticed it as he was way too concentrated on his three humans.

"Go in," One of the tall men in black said gruffly, and shoved the elder into the dark room, before turning around and slamming the door shut, his other buddy already inside.

Boo~, he thought, now he had to find a way in or find a way to at least see what was going on.

Izaya noticed how the air conditioners lined up vertically up the wall, and began to climb them, making as little noise as possible. One would rarely think someone climbing up air conditioners could be elegant, but he was. He reached the roof to find no doors to his disappointment, but once he properly observed the area, he found a hatch, built in as if it was intended to be escaped from quickly. Shady business eh? That was more of his thing.

He picked the small almost completely camouflaged lock and managed to open the hatch, before sliding in and carefully closing the hatch door behind him. He was trapped in a small confined area, and in front of him he held onto a ladder, that seemed to lead straight down into a dark room. What was disadvantageous of his position, was that his rear was facing straight down and that if someone came in while he climbed down, they would immediately see his legs first and Izaya wouldn't even know that he was seen. He had to drop down from the ladder quickly and when no one was around if he wanted to stay undetected.

Of course, dropping down had it's own problems associated with the sound of his feet hitting the ground, but it seemed like a dusty, dirty room that had been habituated by no one but rats and mice. In fact, he saw one right now, perched on the top of a small mountain of storage boxes. He shrugged, a hastily put-together plan forming in his head. The little critters would make for a nice excuse.

With that plan in mind, he let go and landed with a thump on the old wooden floor, instantly darting forwards and grabbing the mouse, who let out a loud squeak. He almost panicked when he saw the stale wooden board crack slightly, but remembering that he had to move fast, he darted across and took shelter behind a few old storage boxes.

Hearing the sound that he must've made, a faint voice from below say, "What was that?" and another say "go check."

How predictable. He heard the footsteps of the large man enact from behind the wall as he climbed up the stairs, and he almost winced when a bright light burst through the slowly opening creaky door. Izaya's eyes had just gotten used to the dark. Footsteps, coming closer to where he was hidden. He released the mouse, who scampered away into view, frightened and panicked.

The footsteps stopped. A low grumble was heard, along with a 'what, so it was only a mouse...'

The giant lumbered away from where Izaya hid, and the bright light from the open door slimmed down until it was dark again in the room. Izaya sighed, amazed at how dumb the man was, and how his cliche plan had actually worked. There were all types of humans in this world, and that dumbo was just one of them. How amusing~ He stood up from his crouch and brushed the dust off of his wonderful pink coat that had gotten sullied in the dirty room. Creeping towards the door, he opened it slightly, and immediately the voices from the floor below sounded much clearer.

"...I don't care what you've been through," a woman spoke, her Japanese sounding a bit strange. An accent? "Just give me the money... or this will happen."

He heard a loud crash, and assumed she had made one of her proteges break something, brutally, and somewhat dramatically. He moved forwards, slowly progressing through the building towards the staircase leading to the first floor.

"I-I-I," he heard the man stutter, clearly on the edge of tears, "I-"

"Oh, I don't even care anymore," the woman sighed, "I had been easy on you since you're an old man, but clearly you don't deserve that sort of special treatment."

Izaya snorted at the woman's arrogance, and already having met this type of human.

"W-WAIT!" The man cried, his voice cracking with sorrow, "PLEASE D-DONT!"

Figuring this was the best time to burst into the scene, he began making his way down the stairs, one step at a time, his eyes immediately finding their way to the woman in charge. It was a blonde foreigner, with exaggerated make-up and a mole below her lips. She wore a dress that greatly exaggerated her bust which would already impressive to many humans, and she smoked an old-fashioned cigar pipe. Typical rich black-market woman.

"Maybe you shouldn't," He purred, putting on a sly smile. His louder steps had long alerted them, and all three presences looking straight at him as if they had just seen him jump out of his clothes and start pole dancing (ahhhh, let's move on now shall we? Don't search that up kids).

Her two proteges stood beside her menacingly, and now that he got a great view of them, he could see they looked shockingly alike. Almost as if they were Siamese twins, both bald, bulky, stiff, and looking like they had just come out of a 'Men in Black' movie.

"Ah? And you are?" the woman asked, a slight American accent to her tone and a badly faked smile on her face, "Why shouldn't I huh?"

"Exactly. Now that's something to think about, isn't it?" Izaya replied sweetly, and he flicked out his pocket knife. With a dazzling smile and a cute little wink, he posed dramatically and sang;

"Kanra-chan is here to save the day~!"


	10. Amanda Ale

**Chapter 10: Amanda Ale**

Honestly, the humans of today had no manners. After his brief yet amazing introduction, the woman had ordered her two brutes to capture him, contain him, kill him, whatever. Anything to harm Izaya, but unfortunately, Izaya fully intended not to be harmed. He danced around the brutes, who swung their big meaty fists around, trying to bat him out of movement like he was a flea, which he took offense to. A death waltz, how dramatic~ Kyah~

"Ahahaha!" Izaya laughed maniacally, "What're you doing, you oafs? Are those guns just for show?"

The two large proteges immediately reached into their coats for their guns, but the mistress saw what Izaya wanted, flinging her hand forwards as if it would help stop the two brutes.

"You idiots!" She screeched, "Don't-"

All words were covered up by the sound of gunfire, every single bullet missing Izaya who seemed to be able to predict the bullet's path before it reached him. Either that, or the two proteges were total amateurs at using a gun. The small store was way too confined for gun use, let alone two. The guns destroyed the lights, the glass, and Izaya was pretty sure the havoc the two were making would send the police racing here shortly.

"Oho~ I wonder what you'll do now~" Izaya spoke loudly, and leaned back quickly as a bullet missed him by hair's length, "your mistress doesn't look very happy with you~!"

Just as he had said, the two oafs turned around to find their busty human master red in the face with anger. She was furious, like a volcano ready to explode, and it almost choked a laugh out of Izaya. How priceless her expression was, it couldn't be explained in words alone.

"There's a _reason_," the lady spoke, struggling to keep her voice steady, "we chose such a secluded place, _boys_."

"Ah, but I guess that reason's for naught, now that the police are just next door eh?" Izaya smiled sweetly, hearing the lovely melody of police sirens approaching fast, "you'd best get out of here if you don't want to get arrested... _Amanda Ale_, was it~?"

Amanda Ale, the one of the many woman he had dealt with a long way back when he was still able to venture through Ikebukuro safely. The woman was crude and loud, always willing to boast about her achievements in a flamboyant way. He liked her kind, they were very amusing, especially when they got too full of themselves to see their surroundings and eventually fell into a pit of despair and bankruptcy. Ah, how fun. Izaya was glad to see her back on her feet again, in any case, as he would never wish to condemn his precious humans to doom~.

"You! How did you know who I am, you evil little-"

"Ah," Izaya grinned as he felt the lights of the police cars shining from behind him, creating a long dark shadow of his silhouette accompanied by the loud screeching noise of a loudspeaker, "You'd best run along now. You wouldn't want to be arrest would you, Amanda-san~?"

Her face twisted into a scowl, her bodyguards protectively followed behind her as she ran towards the escape hatch upstairs. Izaya felt that this was his call to escape too now, and was just about to make way when he found the old man, still sitting on the ground in shock, trembling in fright from the incident. Izaya thought the man had bolted when the commotion started, but alas, he was still here. It turned out he still had one more thing to do, after all, that was why he came to butt into their business.

"Hello," he smiled kindly at the old man, who stared blankly back at him in a daze, "What's your name?"

The old man seemed to be paralyzed, eyes dilated and pale in the face. It wasn't too surprising, considering what he had gone through today.

"Well, that's okay, you can always tell me later," Izaya giggled, and reached out to embrace the man in a warm, fluffy, hug (courtesy of his amazing fur coat), "We'll be meeting each other a lot~ in the future that is."

While he wrapped his arms around the poor old man, he snuck a note into the man's pockets, with his contact information attached and a picture of his daughter, "Call me maybe?" he snickered at his own joke, and patted the man who was just coming out of his daze on the head, "I'd better get going now, the police seem to have noticed that there's no more gun sounds in the building~!"

He ran towards a window to the back alley, and just before jumping out, he turned and informed the old man, "...if you tell the police anything about what happened today..." Izaya made a cutting neck gesture, and flashed a bright grin, "get it?"

When the elder nodded numbly back to him, he smiled and a non-verbal agreement was fulfilled. That's when he leaped out of the window, over the window sill and dropped down onto the ground, ready to make his escape...

When he arrived back at the apartment, Alex was there to warmly greet him, and immediately began to examine him for any wounds. Sighing in relief after seeing no visible ouchies, he accepted Izaya's dusty pink coat and went to throw it into the laundry bin, while Izaya collapsed on the couch, and began to check his email on all his fifteen phones.

"Alex," he hummed, and looked up to see a blonde head poke out of the laundry room, face full of expectations, "Do you have any siblings?"

"Yes," Alex replied, nodding albeit reluctantly, "an older sister..."

"Ah, she must be really beautiful huh?" Izaya smiled, and lazily pulled his hair extensions out of his hair, "considering what a pretty face you have~"

"Um, I-" Alex blushed a deep red, and immediately poked his head back into the laundry room, "th-thank you sir"

"Are you embarrassed? How cuuuuute~!" Izaya cooed, and started to laugh.

The wonders of the human Alexander Sanders had unwrapped a bit, once more.


	11. Little Child

**Chapter 11: Little Child**

Shiki-san had once told him, that he was like a little child. Izaya was like a little child that enjoyed catching butterflies and prying their wings apart to watch how they would react. A cruel innocence, some twisted logic. Izaya didn't like how grotesque Shiki-san's description of him was, but he didn't deny it.

Izaya flipped through his cards, once again assigning positions for every person he knew.

"Let's see... the Jack and the Ace... let's make that them..." he murmured happily, letting the two cards flutter and fall to the ground.

"How about the queen can be her..." Another card down.

"The king... haha, more like the Jack. Let's make them Ace and Two instead."

"And that means this one can be Shizu-chan again~!" He held the king high to the sky, but frowned, "I haven't included Shizu-chan thoroughly enough yet... I should work on that." He threw it to aside, and continued to sort through his cards.

"Izaya-san," Alex called hesitantly, coat on and seeming very snug under the layers, "It's time for me to go now..."

"Yep. See you tomorrow~" Izaya hummed, and let another card fall to the ground.

"...Should I stay and clean up the cards for you?"

"Haha, so sweet~! It's fine I got it~"

"Alright, see you tomorrow Izaya-san," Alex breathed, and gently saluted before closing the door quietly behind him.

Izaya stared at the closed door for a while, before sighing and harshly kicking the fallen Jack away, "Jack doesn't quite fit him either. I guess I'll have to use my other game pieces."

For the rest of the day, he spent his time playing with cards, giving roles to his little playthings.

"What a shame~ I don't have enough players," Izaya sighed, and threw all the cards in the air like confetti, "I'll have to get more to make the game more fun~!"

He stood up and glanced down at the city of Shinjuku busy operating at night, and wondered if it was too late to go out and take a walk. Maybe he would be able to have a little more fun before he retired to bed. He jumped up from his seat and stepped over the fallen cards, scattered all over the ground like leaves of a tree. Izaya would clean it up later (or not), but whatever it was, he had to go while the night was young.

Wearing his favorite black coat, he wandered around the streets, eyes open for any activity. Breathing in a deep breath of air, he looked up to the sky and found the moon to be nice and full. Bright too. He stared at it for a moment, before breaking out of his trance and moving on. The night lights were turned on, illuminating the city in a dramatically dark aura, while he watched the cars zoom by with headlights turned on bright.

He listened carefully to the sounds of the city, and jumped over the cracks of the sidewalk, feeling quite content. The game was almost set. He had to just get enough players, and then place them in position. He busily thought up a few players that could partake in his fun time, before he heard something quite out of place. A whinny?

Ah, of course.

So she had come.

The screeching of a horse brought him back to reality, as he felt someone-something stop right behind him. He smiled happily, and turned around to greet the dullahan, who was staring straight at him apprehensively- or would've been if she had a head.

"Hey Celty-san~ long time no see~?" Izaya stood still, and grinned like he had reunited with a long lost friend, "How's it going with Shinra-kun?"

The dullahan paused for a moment and tilted her helmet to a side, as if a little puzzled. She ejected her PDA out of her sleeve made entirely of shadows, and quickly tapped a few words onto the screen. Izaya leaned forwards to read what she had written, before she held it up for him to see.

[We're doing fine, thank you.]

"That's good~!" Izaya chuckled, and leaned back onto the handrails, "Is there something you want from me? You obviously wouldn't be here if there wasn't~"

The dullahan once again 'stared' straight at him, and more hesitantly this time, began to tap out another message.

[You haven't called me for a job for a few months... I'm a little worried.]

After reading, Izaya couldn't help but laugh out loud, before he gestured Celty to follow him. She grabbed her horse-turned-motorbike's handles and began to direct the motorbike forwards, following Izaya's lead.

"Now here's a question," he said cheerfully, and tapped his cheek as if pondering on something, "Is it my well being, or is it what I may or may not be planning that you're worried about?"

She stopped and stood still, but Izaya could easily tell by the body language Celty had adapted to using after she had fewer means of communication (without her head), that she felt a little guilty. Izaya knew the answer to his question, he didn't even need to think about it. Of course the dullahan was worried he was planning something, because he was already so detested, no one would come visit him if he wasn't busy scheming away (as sad as it may be). His sisters still came every now and then though, just to make fun of him or pull some mean prank on him that he so totally didn't deserve (he still mourned for his white coat-turned-pink to this day).

"Ah, you don't need to answer that," Izaya smiled, when he noticed the dullahan slowly reach for her PDA again, "I already know the answer to that question anyways."

She nodded and continued to lead her motorbike horse forward, a bit hesitantly this time though.

"Well, I can tell you now that I haven't caused anything huge _(as of yet)_," Izaya informed, putting his hands in his pockets and bouncing over once sidewalk block to the next, "I can assure you that nothing will happen to Shinra-kun _(maybe)_, so don't worry~!"

Celty looked at him apprehensively, and crossed her arms as if in great doubt of his words. She had the right to. Izaya rarely spoke the complete truth and always seemed to have some evil intention underneath all his actions and words. She still had trouble forgetting what he had involved Kida-kun, Mikado-kun and Anri-chan involved in, and she still wasn't sure what he had gained from causing all that turmoil other than amusement. Or was that all he needed...?

"Fine, I know I can't promise that," He gave in reluctantly, saying slowly and surely, "I don't intend to cause harm to anyone. I wouldn't ever want to cause harm to anyone. After all, they're all my precious humans... except for Shizu-chan that is... oh, but I'll make you an exception. You can be my best friend next to Shinra-kun~!"

She stayed quiet (as if she could make any noise without a mouth), and she slumped just slightly as if she was frowning. She didn't quite want to become close buddies with the seemingly insane information broker.

Misinterpreting (or most likely not) Celty's thoughts and intentions, he laughed and said, "Too bad Celty, but Shinra-kun is my best friend even if you're really amazing~ be glad you're one of my few real friends~!"

Celty's shoulders relaxed and she seemed to lean forwards a bit, as if she was sighing.

"You're funny Celty-san~" Izaya giggled, and suddenly ceased walking, causing her to almost bump into him at his immediate stop. She stared at Izaya curiously, wanting to know what made him stop when she saw his face soften. He spoke gentler than she had ever heard him speak, "It's getting kind of late huh?"

Celty glanced up at the sky and saw the full moon at it's brightest, the rays of the sun reflecting off the white surface to create an eerie silver glow. She held out her PDA, which glowed too, radiating a yellow-green color, [Yeah...]

The two stood under the full moon, for the rest of the night contemplating on two completely different matters.


	12. Help

**Chapter 12: Help**

"Dooooooooooooo-"

"Taaaaaaaaaaaaa-"

"Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin~"

A huge meteoroid from the high heavens slammed into Kyohei Kodata's backside, causing him to lose balance and fall forwards. In other words, Izaya Orihara-chan had tackled him from afar, flying like a canonball. His two companions barely had the time to react. Being the cool guy that he is though, he refused to land on his face and managed to regain balance before the hard solid concrete ground managed to meet his face.

"Don't call me that Izay-" He grumbled, and turned around to find a strange, shockingly familiar girl squeezing him tightly, wearing a happy smile, "Uh... who're you?"

"Really~? You don't recognize me~?" the girl sang, her red eyes widening innocently, when she then backed away and made a pouty face, "Geez~ but we've been through so much together~!"

After a few moments of puzzled silence, Erika's eyes widened as if she had realized something huge. She latched onto Kodata and began to cheer, "WHAT? WHAAT? YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND!"

"Erm, no that's not-" Kodata's voice was drowned out into the distance as Erika gripped Izaya's hands and began to throw questions at him, like when they started dating, where they met, how did this all happen, like the excited mother of a child. Izaya smiled pleasantly as he calmly answered every one of the questions. Walker patted Kodata on the shoulder approvingly, and murmured something about her looking like she jumped straight out of a manga.

"OI!" Kodata yelled, and silenced Erika's chitter chatter, "I TOLD YOU GUYS, I DON'T KNOW WHO SHE IS!"

"...what?" Izaya whispered, and summoned his tears to his eyes, "You forgot me...?"

Erika, immediately seeing the damsel in distress, started to scold Kodata, saying things like, 'how could you say such a thing?' 'My opinions of you have changed Dota-chin' 'mother is so disappointed', and Walker joined in too, saying things of the like, leaving Kodata speechless and feeling very tired. Sometimes he wished the two would hold some more common sense.

Izaya on the other hand, thanked himself that he didn't put on mascara because if he did, he would look horrible when crying. He sobbed into his hands, wiping his tears away with his sleeves and looked at Kodata with his large, wet, maroon eyes, as if heartbroken. Finally, Dota-chin seemed to give in and patted Izaya on the head, mumbling a 'sorry', though he still looked thoroughly confused. Satisfied at his success, Izaya smiled happily and ran off, leaving Dota-chin confused, his two companions quite content.

"You should've told us you had a girlfriend!" Walker grinned, walking side by side with Kodata while Erika happily fan-girled behind them.

"I told you, I don-t-"

"No need to be shy~~~!" Erika squealed, and tugged him towards the nearest restaurant, "This calls for a PARTY~!"

"Erm, no it doesn't-"

"Shhh! Silence my young grasshopper, food awaits..."

Meanwhile, Izaya skipped away, schemes flashing through his head like lightning. There were so many ways to include all his old 'friends', but he just didn't know where to start... which way would be the absolute best to push everyone into his game? Deciding to start from Dota-chin, he would make his way around to Shizu-chan and then to Celty-san... who would definitely drag Shinra-kun into it, because the doctor was obsessed with the headless woman. Games weren't as fun unless you had your friends to play it with you after all~_  
><em>

Happy that he managed to introduce himself into his dear classmate's life, he wandered towards the more disclosed part of the street in hopes of finding a Shizu-chan, without the monster spotting him. He needed to make it a surprise, because if Shizu-chan spotted him, he would surely turn away in hopes of not including the 'poor little girl who actually liked him' into whatever chaos he was sure to be pushed into. At least the monster was smart, Izaya would never let him have his peaceful life he always wanted. Never.

Strangely, it seemed that the bartender was having a day off and staying home, according to his source -a nearby tenant who didn't pay his bills- who was informed by Tom-kun. It was impossible for the monster to get sick, so it must've been something else. Shrugging, Izaya checked his phone to see if any of his precious humans had decided to contact him, and found that his dear Kida-kun had sent him a message not too long ago. He smirked.

The night before, Celty was about to leave, and bid the informant farewell. Izaya stopped her before she left, and requested she hand his new contact information to Kida-kun, who was surely under stress by now. The past doesn't let you go that easily, after all, especially when you used to be a gang leader. Saying that his friend would need his help if he wanted to get away from this unscathed, Celty took the contact information with distrust, and zoomed off on her soundless motorbike, a.k.a. horse.

He was surprised Celty had actually given the information to Kida-kun instead of throwing it in the trash or something. Sometimes monsters can be quite unpredictable eh? Just like a certain monster Izaya refused to think about.

Izaya flipped open his phone and found Kida's message, that seemed to be written quickly due to the grammar mistakes and the shortness.

_Orihara-san, I know that its not right to trust you now, and I stil__l don't..._

_But I need help... call me asap._

_-Kida Masaomi_

So he needed help eh? Of course, Izaya knew that from the start. Well, anything for his precious human~! He hummed a little tune, as he dialed the phone number. Izaya waited for the call to go through.

"...H-hello?" a reluctant and hesitant voice came through.

"Ah, long time no see~! Is this Kida-kun~?" Izaya said smoothly, talking in his normal voice as he leaned against the alleyway wall.

"O-Orihara-san, it's me," he replied, seeming panicked and slightly out of breath, "I-I'm currently being chased by a bunch of gang members!"

"Is that so?" Izaya chuckled, and examined the sky, "And I wonder~ what do you want my help for?"

"Orihara-san, this isn't the time for you word games!" Kida exclaimed, and his breath hitched as if he got caught on something, "Th-they have knives!"

"I get it, I get it~" the informant sighed, "Since you're so reluctant to straight out ask for me to come save you, I'll just do it anyways, out of the pure kindness hidden deep in my heart."

Kida gasped for breath and Izaya could hear threats in the distance, "JUST HURRY!"

The line went dead, and he stuffed his phone in his pockets. Izaya himself couldn't go, due to the fact he was dressed from head to toe in girly clothing. He needed to send some help instead, and if he was lucky, he'd be able to watch from a distance. Feeling a bright idea pop into his head, the idea that had been lingering around for quite a while now, he clicked open his phone and started scanning through his contacts, searching for one specific person.

The one specific person that hated his guts the most, yet wouldn't be able to refuse his request.


	13. eXPLOSION

**Chapter 13: eXPLOSION**

"Hello?" the voice on the other end mumbled grumpily, "If this is another one of that newspaper subscription shit, then I refuse."

"Ah~ how rude~!" Izaya sang, and by the quick breath intake, he knew he had his attention, "You shouldn't talk to humans like that _Shi-zu-chan_, they'll get offended and will dislike you~! Not that that's a bad thing eh?"

"_You_..." the bartender growled, and he heard something crack on the other side. Probably the phone, unable to stand Shizu-chan's frighteningly strong grip.

"_Me._.." Izaya repeated dramatically, just for the sake of annoying him.

There was a deep breath intake, followed by a huge sigh, as Shizuo struggled to contain his fury before he said slowly and firmly, "What do you want."

"Woahh so cold Shizu-chan!" Izaya laughed, knowing how annoyed Shizu-chan got when hearing the headache-inducing cackling, "I have something to tell you that you'll really want to hear~"

"I don't want to get included in your stupid schemes," he replied briskly, "I'm hanging up."

"Wait~!" Izaya called out quickly, before Shizuo could smash the 'end' button, "one of your friends are in deeeeep danger~!"

"Izaya... what did you do," his voice trembled in effort to stop himself from destroying the thirtieth phone Tom-san had bought him.

"Whaaaat~? I didn't do annnyyythiiiing~ Poor Kida-kun is being chased by gang members though, and he needs help~" Izaya sang.

"Izaya... you-"

"I _do_ have a heart you know! I wanted to go myself, but I'm kind of busy at the moment so I have to resort to calling you, of all people. Geez~ do you think I wanted to call you? Don't get ahead of yourself Shizu-chan~ HAHAHAHAHHA!"

"IZAYA YOU BASTARD!"

Izaya winced when a large 'slam' came from the other end of the call. He stared at the display, listening to the long moan escaping from the phone's receiver and couldn't help but let out a grin. Shizu-chan was now involved in the game. He would need to tie him in further if he didn't want the monster to escape though. He happily texted Kida-kun, saying 'Help is on the way~ just hang on tight!', before starting to head off towards the general direction of the pursuers and the pursued, intending on watching it all play out.

He managed to get there way before Shizu-chan, who was being much slower than usual. Izaya noted that, while he found the 'haunted' hotel he kept using as lookout for gang fights. He reminded himself to find another place to use for observation, because repetitively using one place never led to good. Someone would find out and wait for him here, potentially corner him, and a replay of how he got chased out of town would happen.

Izaya quickly spotted Kida-kun around two blocks away with his binoculars, seeming to be drenched in sweat and faintly, blood. Most of his numerous wounds were shallow though, so Izaya wasn't worrying for his life. He watched in amusement as he nearly got nicked on the neck by one of the gang members, but managed to dodge the knife.

The gang members were colorless. Izaya had theories that they were part of the group that called themselves the 'Dollars', and usually his intuition was correct. Just like how it was telling him right now that Shizu-chan was going to be approaching very soon.

He turned at the sound of a crash, and found the dear monster heaving up a truck and tossing it towards the attackers, most of which managed to dodge. One of them got caught under, but seemed fine if not for a crushed leg.

"You're going too far, Shizu-chan," Izaya chuckled, binoculars held by both hands, switching back and forth, from Kida to Shizuo, and felt something blossom in his chest. So Shizu-chan had gotten even stronger than before eh? To be able to lift a truck with ease, like how he used to lift vending machines, and before that, refrigerators... what a monster.

Kida had collapsed on the spot, hand clutching his chest, breathing hard and struggling to recover while Shizuo stood in front of him defensively, brandishing three signs in each hand like they were swords of some sort. Every movement he made, five to six men went flying in each direction. It was over sooner than later. People were strewn all over the place, limp, unconscious, probably injured but definitely not dead. A crowd had gathered from afar, much thinner than when the fight started out, as many had fled at the sight of a flying truck.

_Still a monster, as always huh, Shizu-chan?_ Izaya thought, _Wait, flying truck?_

He quickly glanced over at the truck, which laid on it's side with someone unconscious still trapped underneath. In the back of the truck, several metal barrels were tied together, and a small fire was lit by friction of the truck when it impacted the ground. The tiny words read gasoline? Taking in account the propane tank and other considerations...

Izaya quickly shoved the binoculars into his fur coat pocket and lifted his hood up over his head, hoping he could act fast before something he hoped didn't happen, happened. Shizu-chan was probably too dumb to handle this with caution. He headed straight towards the fence and jumped over it, and was immediately faced with a 180 degree drop straight to the ground. In a matter of milliseconds, he quickly planned a path he could use to go down and swung from the flag pole to the window sills, from to pipes, all the way to ground level.

Doing so had attracted many people's attention, but he didn't care. It wasn't as important as his other concerns. That human that was trapped under the truck, and he needed that human for his game. An explosion would definitely kill him, and he definitely didn't want his precious humans to die.

He wasn't going to be able to lift the truck. He needed the monster. _Damnit._

"Shizu-chan!" Izaya sprinted towards the fallen truck, which now had flames that was spewing out smoke, "the truck is going explode and there's someone trapped underneath it!"

He didn't have the time to look back and see what the monster's facial expression must've looked like, but he imagined a face of surprise at the nickname and possibly irritation to how close it sounded how someone else addressed him. Izaya wasn't sure, and he didn't quite care at that moment.

"Kida-kun," he said firmly to the blonde-haired boy, who's eyes widened when he was adressed, "Get the crowd away from here, if the truck does explode, it might reach them."

"S-sure!" he replied, and rushed over to the crowd in a sort of limp, urging them to back away further into a safer area.

"Is that you, flea?" Shizuo asked, feeling his temper rise again and Izaya almost verbally voiced his frustration at the protozoan's stupidity. The fire was getting warmer, quickly spreading across the gasoline. It was just a bit of distance until it reached the barrels of gas.

"This isn't the time to for that, there a _flaming_ truck right before us and someone is crushed underneath, _LIFT THE TRUCK_," Izaya spoke harshly, with such conviction, that Shizuo growled in an irritated manner, but still complied.

When the truck rose off the ground, Izaya quickly heaved the unconscious human onto his back and started running away from the sparks of the flames, while shouting a warning towards the monster who had just set the truck down, "Shizu-chan! It's about to explode!"

It seemed like it was too late.

Right after he had said it, a scorching hot palm smacked into his backside, and sent him flying. Even with his eyes squeezed closed, he could tell there was a brilliant flash of fiery light. Time moved in milliseconds and he quickly felt the harsh breeze of warm wind blowing him forwards, him being weightless for a moment though he carried someone on his back.

Wasn't it the worst when something bad happens yet it feels a little like freedom? And how right after that moment of ecstasy, reality hits you? He slowly descending towards the hard concrete ground below.

Izaya's intuition was usually never wrong, and as usual, it was right.

It hurt a lot.

* * *

><p>Hey guys, guess who?<p>

Yeah that's right, it's _ME_ agaaaiiinn!

...

No applause? Nothing? Alright... :'(

Since I've been writing as Izaya, my head has been hurting. There's so many schemes happening in my head, but I can't remember them all because I'm not Izaya. Unfortunately. Sadly. I can dream at least.

But hey, you guys seriously amaze me. So many reviews again? Love you guys so much, seriously. Which is why another bonus story is in order~!

Next chapter that is.

So not only do you have this amazing cliff hanger, you have a exciting bonus story that isn't even going to happen until the next time I update~!

No really, you're welcome. And thank you.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


	14. Recovering

**Chapter 14: Recovering**

Izaya remembered the first time he drank. He was still in middle school, but Shiki-san's 'buddies' insisted on it, goading him to have just a bit more... just a bit more...

The hangover he received the next day made him want to die.

Similar to the headache he was experiencing now, except it was a worse. A thousand fold.

Every sound hurt. Every touch hurt. The crushingly heavy weight on his back hurt. For what reason was it so bright? His skin felt funny. He saw nothing but a blur of different colors, and for once he didn't understand a word his precious humans were saying. Was this a different language they were speaking? No, it must be a completely different species, he didn't understand what they were doing at all. All he heard was a high pitched squeal.

Where was Shizu-chan? Was he dead? Izaya hoped so, and wondered if anyone was going to come up and finish him while he laid there limp and hurting. He couldn't see, touch, or hear without feeling pain. All he smelled was smoke, and he couldn't help but let out a cough.

Coughing was the wrong decision, it hurt his everywhere, and almost made him black out again.

The concrete below him made for a poor and highly uncomfortable bed, but compared to trying to lift his head up, it was a luxury. Gravity seemed to pull down on him so hard that he had flattened on the ground like an Izaya pizza. He mentally wondered why he was using such a strange comparison to explain the situation to himself, but he let it go.

Izaya gave up trying to decide what was happening, and settled for some rest instead, hoping when he woke up again, things would make more sense...

When black turned into light again, things were much more comfortable. The nostalgic feeling of softness under him felt like he was floating on a cloud. This time, he wasn't laying on his stomach anymore, but he was laying on his back. He didn't like it, it was way too bright.

He tried to vocalize his concern, but it came out as a pitiful little whisper of air. Thankfully, whoever was beside him understood and closed the blinds to the bright world outside. Where was he? He couldn't speak, it hurt his throat. A warm hand laid itself on Izaya's forehead, and it felt nice compared to the rest of his body that felt stir fried. When it was about to move away, he complained, though unable to speak, and somehow the person understood. The hand stayed.

Who was this? Through his bleary eyes, the hair was blonde and he had a strong build. Shizu-chan? Impossible. The thought utterly disgusted him. If it was Shizu-chan, he'd much rather jump off a building to end it all or set himself on fire to purify himself. No... who else in his life had blonde hair...

Ah! Alex-kun! He had come to save him! He felt content at the fact that someone other than a monster had come to rescue him from the explosion.

_My hero, _Izaya weakly mouthed, breath coming out as a slight whisper and smiling slightly at the man, _Good dog..._

He fell asleep after that, and didn't wake up for another period of time, leaving his companion very worried for what to him, seemed like an eternity.

When he properly opened his eyes, it was daytime. He blinked as the morning light from the window glowed into the rather dark room, feeling relieved that the light didn't hurt anymore. Izaya blinked the blurriness out of his eyes and checked the time on the unfamiliar digital clock, to find that it was fairly early; around six o'clock in the morning. He experimented moving his fingers and found it to be fairly easy. He slowly and gradually worked his way to his limbs, just by shifting them to check if he broke anything, and finally, he tried sitting up, which his body disagreed with and immediately sent him into a dizzy spell, causing him to almost tilt off of the bed.

"Wah!" someone yelped, and he felt himself get caught by a warm embrace before he could fall off the bed. It was very comfortable, almost to the point of sending Izaya back to sleep. Hm? These hands...

"Ah? Alex-kun~ Is that you?" Izaya asked raspily, his own voice sounding a little strange to him due to long periods of not using it. He let himself stay limp against Alex, who held him steady and became suddenly aware of their close contact. Alex's cheeks reddened, and stuttered something similar to a 'yes', before gently setting him back down onto the bed. While Alex rummaged around, looking for something, Izaya observed his surroundings.

White walls, white bed sheets, medical equipment. One would think it's a hospital, but Izaya had been here numerous times. This was Shinra's house, in his secretly hidden private medical care room. How had Alex known to come here... wait, how did he get injured in the first place?

After some contemplation, memories flooded back to him in an instant, leaving him fuming at himself for letting himself get caught in the explosion and not acting quick enough. He wondered how Shizu-chan was doing, as he was closer to the explosion than he was, but Izaya knew that if he had survived, Shizu-chan was probably already on his feet, moving around and ready to rip some Izaya heads off.

He frowned at the imagery, and jolted when the bed started to bend forwards, leaning him upwards.

"Sorry," Alex said, when he noticed Izaya's surprise, "I thought you wanted to sit up, so I pressed some buttons here."

He gestured towards a small control panel at the side of his bed and Izaya patted Alex's head for being resourceful and smart, unlike Shizu-chan who he was definitely going to hold a grudge against in addition to added hatred. Shizu-chan just had to be a monster that healed super quickly, leaving him to slowly recover. That bastard.

"So, what happened?" Izaya asked, and Alex frowned.

"An explosion caused by a gasoline truck happened around the place Izaya-san usually uses for observation," Alex stated, and Izaya nodded impatiently, waiting for something he didn't know, "I saw it all happen on your TV while washing the dishes, you trying to save someone from under the truck, the truck exploding... Usually you're fine, but I got worried... so I headed over... And found you."

"Oh really," Izaya smiled, resting his chin on his hands while imagining Alex run over to the location to see his employer strewn across the ground unconscious underneath a man that he didn't know. Yes, he had meant to make it sound wrong.

"Yes sir," Alex nodded, and slowly pulled up a chair beside Izaya, "You were badly burnt from the explosion, and you have blunt trauma from hitting your head on the concrete... you were bleeding too from getting cut by debris, among other things. A injured and bleeding bartender saw me when I tried to help you, and demanded to know who I was..."

"And your answer?" Izaya hummed, hoping his secretary said something realistic.

"I told him I was your brother, and that you were my adopted cousin," Alex replied, "they didn't seem to believe me, but once they got a better look at you they seemed more or less convinced."

More or less? Izaya sighed, he would need to go completely convince them if he wanted things to work smoothly. How annoying~ He fumbled with the bandages on his hands and found the explosion had left it's mark on his skin, turning it pink, almost rash-like, and rough like sandpaper. His skin felt painful everywhere, especially on his legs. Alex, having noticed what Izaya was doing to his old bandages, quickly pulled out a new roll and asked to apply it on for him. Izaya nodded, and suddenly realized the bandages all over himself, the neck, the torso, the legs, and even nearly half of his face was bandaged. The explosion must've really affected him.

"And then?" Izaya urged Alex to continue, who complied obediently.

"I brought you back to the apartment, but your injuries were worse than I thought, so I quickly changed you out of your disguise and brought you to your friend Shinra-san's place," Alex said, his cool fingers feeling nice against Izaya's dry and hurting skin.

"Is that so~?" Izaya snickered, a mischievous smile gracing his lips, "did you enjoy that?"

Alex blinked, and slowly realized what Izaya was referring to. He flushed a deep red, stuttering something incomprehensible. Izaya enjoyed watching him flustered and struggling to speak normally for a moment, before laughing and stating that he was just kidding.

"It's been a few days since then," Alex said after he cooled down, "I kept the newspaper of the incident for you. Would you like to read it?"

Izaya was handed the newspaper, and he immediately started reading through it, his experienced eyes not missing a single detail. The human he had tried to rescue was recuperating at a nearby hospital, his back more severely burnt than the rest of his body and leg broken, but otherwise there was no major concerns. Izaya had managed to wake up before him it turns out, and he was determined to give him a visit when Izaya was ready. Alex handed Izay a cup of cool water, which he was grateful for, because his throat and mouth felt like it had been used for a scorpion nest.

Shizu-chan, as he had thought, recovered merely 3 days afterwards, already back to his job of beating up debtors and hoping to kill the flea. Though it was said that he looked like a mummy with his face and hands all wrapped up in bandages. It satisfied Izaya to know that the monster didn't get away completely unscathed, otherwise it would've been too unfair. He was happy to read about the sudden increase of debt Shizuo now owed to the city, the debt of ruining public property that he had been steadily repaying ever since Izaya left the city.

There were no casualties and no other people injured other than Kida-kun, who's minor injuries didn't affect him all that much and therefore didn't get a higher mention.

Satisfied with the results, he set the papers to aside and grinned happily. The truck part was unexpected, but his game was expanding, and more players were pitching in. He couldn't wait to see the game in full motion.

It was getting closer.

* * *

><p><strong>Bonus Chapter 14.5: Houston, We Have a Problem...<strong>

Izaya glanced at Alex, who was playing a game on his phone and unaware of his surroundings. After a few moments of fidgeting, he glanced again. There was no change.

"Alex-kun, where's Shinra?" Izaya asked.

"He's still asleep. He and his girlfriend were... busy last night," Alex stated, and his cheeks coloured pink.

Izaya rolled his eyes, knowing how infatuated Shinra was with his headless woman, "What's the date today? How many days has it been since the explosion?"

"The fifth of March, so six days," Alex replied, and stood up from his chair, "Are you hungry? Shinra-san said I could use his kitchen."

"No..." Izaya trailed off, eyebrows furrowed as if in a deep crisis,"Not really..."

"Is something of the matter?" Alex asked, turning around to face Izaya, "If I can help-"

"I need to go to the bathroom."

There was a silence, as Alex pursed his lips and began to flush red again, able to predict what Izaya was implying by his snide smirk.

"That's a problem."

"Yes, that is a problem isn't it, Alex-kun~!"

A few moments later, Alex was piggybacking the injured informant towards the bathroom, who wouldn't stay still. He kept on squirming in Alex's grasp, one moment pointing at the medical equipment Shinra owned, the next, directing Alex to the fridge to raid his food. Izaya chewed happily on a leftover sandwich, while Alex obediently walked down the hallway to the front of the bathroom door.

"Down," Izaya ordered, mouth full of food and Alex complied, setting him on his feet as gently as possible.

Standing proved to be a difficult task, as his legs shook when the had to carry his own weight and the wall became his best friend. He told Alex to wait outside, and slid in the bathroom, not-so-gracefully for once in his life, closing the door with a slam. Alex waited patiently, as there was a moment of silence when suddenly a loud crash enacted from the room.

"Izaya-san? Are you alright?" Alex asked, feeling worried that he had fallen down, "Should I-"

"_No you may not come in and help me_," Izaya replied icily, immediately shutting Alex up and freezing him on the spot, "_Wait outside like a good mutt._"

Alex pursed his lips, as he let his hands fall to his sides, and waited anxiously for Izaya to finish... whatever he was doing in there. After what seemed to be forever, the door opened and Izaya nearly came spilling out, and smashing into the floor. Alex managed to catch him somehow before he hit the ground.

"Haha..." Izaya laughed weakly, but triumphantly, a new purple bruise forming on his forehead, "I did it... now bring me back my trusty sidekick!"

Alex couldn't help but let out a laugh, at how happy Izaya looked for accomplishing such a task by himself. Piggybacking him back to his room, Izaya once again made him stop in front of the fridge to pick up a bottle of ice tea, before heading back. After he was gently set back down on the bed, Izaya sighed into white hard mattress, wishing he could go back and sleep in his soft, satiny one instead.

"When I get better, let's go back as soon as possible," Izaya mumbled, "I don't want to hear Shinra-kun yap about his headless girlfriend every time they've done their business. I wonder if dullahan's can have babies anyways... hm..."

Alex looked confused at what he had said, but shrugged, accepting it as another one of Izaya's weird quirks.

A few moments later, Izaya felt like he was dying. After stating his feelings to Alex, quickly shot up from his chair and ran over to Izaya's bedside, demanding to know what was wrong.

Not again.

Why did he drink so much ice tea?

"I need to go to the bathroom again..."


	15. Tampered

**Chapter 15: Tampered**

Izaya didn't care at all. He honestly didn't. Izaya didn't care for how flawless Celty-san's skin was, or how perfect and cute she was when she communicated, or how her back arched when she felt good, or whatever.

He. Didn't. Care.

"...-estly, she's soooooo cute! Celty~~~ I love you so much~~~!" Shinra squealed, and wouldn't stop jumping up and down, "And the way she moves, ah, I thought I might faint, it was fanta-"

"Shinra-kun~?"

"Yes Izaya-kun?!"

"Shut up."

A cold air passed through the group, sending goosebumps up Shinra's arms, "...Okay."

After a few more checks and tests, Shinra deemed Izaya good to go, and mentally applauded himself for being such a good doctor, to which Izaya didn't deny. To be able to recover from an explosion in merely a week, he felt pretty good about this. Shinra still insisted he get adequate amounts of rest and sleep, but Izaya declared that he was good to go and checked himself out, bidding Shinra farewell.

"Well Shinra-kun, I gotta thank you again for your courtesy~!" Izaya smiled, still slightly weak on his feet but strong enough to walk. He frequently got tired and needed Alex's help, but he didn't want to stay in this goddamn place anymore, a hell of it's own, full of ramblings of naked headless women he didn't want to know about.

"Hahaha! It was all thanks to your big friend here that helped me out!" Shinra grinned, patting Alex on the back, "He was the one that stayed up all night to watch over you after all!"

"Alex, eh? I see, I guess you don't need my thanks then Shinra-kun," Izaya rolled his eyes, and started to leave, "Bye!"

Before he was able to escape, Shinra stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I didn't know you were back in town Izaya," Shinra stated, his smile vanishing from his face and replaced by a serious dark expression, "I'm not sure what you're planning... but if you get Celty included in this..."

"Hey! This was a total coincidence, even I didn't know the truck would explode," Izaya sighed, shaking his head sadly as if disappointed in his friend, "I mean, if I did I would've never gotten caught in the explosion! Why does everyone automatically assume I'm some evil bastard who schemes stuff?"

"...because you are?"

"...Point made."

Izaya left the building, lifting his fur hood over his head and instantly blending in with the crowd, using Alex as a shield of sorts. He wanted to get home before any yakuza spotted him, hoping he wouldn't run into trouble. He couldn't sprint away just yet, and still had to rely on Alex if he was to move quickly. Izaya was truly vulnerable at this point, but he was confident he would be able to make back to his abode without being detected, as he'd done before so many times.

Instead of using his regular mode of transportation, walking, he took the bus to lessen the burden on his legs and was taken home much faster than usual. Alex stuck behind him protectively, and gave him a feeling of security. Izaya frowned. Was he getting used to his new bodyguard of sorts? He refused to become completely dependent on Alex-kun, if one day he ever decided to rebel against him. He would have to watch himself, just in case he let himself slip too far.

Once they entered the apartment, Izaya flopped onto his bed, sinking into the fluffy mattress while Alex took his coat and went to hang it up. Ah, how he had missed the smooth, unruffled covers, the luxurious warmth, the expensive blankets... He started feeling drowsy from his medication, but shook his head, denying himself of the pleasure of rest. He had been invalid for nearly a week, he needed to start working again.

He pulled out his phone and entered a few digits, waiting for the call to go through.

"Hello?" the hesitant girl asked, "Is this Izaya Orihara-san?"

" Yes it is! Long time no see huh~?" Izaya answered, "How is it going?"

"I haven't been found yet, thanks to you," the girl whispered, holding the phone close to her cheek, "I think they're getting close though. Just the other day, I saw police outside of the apartment."

He was glad he decided to call when he did. He immediately reached over and set his laptop onto his bed, starting it up, "Alright, I'll start researching on your position right now~! Don't worry, as long as you have me, I won't let anyone take you away~!"

"Thank you," the girl sighed in relief, "You know, at first I was really scared that you were a bad person... but now I see you're definitely not."

Izaya started laughing, a pleasant sound to the ears, "Well, I'm flattered really! I'm glad my work is appreciated~ It's getting late, so be sure to lock your doors okay~?"

"Yes, thank you very much, Izaya-san..."

"Bye~!"

"Bye..."

With a click, the call ended, and Izaya stared down at the phone, with a smirk, amused yet a little put off by the girl's words.

_You're not the first one to say I'm not a bad person. That opinion will change very soon, sadly... aah, humans, so indecisive._

Izaya easily pulled up her location. She was right, the police were starting to invade her area. He quickly planned out a route of where she should head next to stay undetected, and how she would do it. Busy thinking of the many brilliant ideas popped into his head, he barely noticed Alex enter his room and set down a cup of steaming coffee onto the desk. Alex watched Izaya happily hum, sketching down strange designs on pieces of paper, and it took him a while to realize it was the map of the area, along with many indicators and notes written messily yet professionally beside different roads and intersections.

"What is it Alex-kun?" Izaya asked, realizing only five minutes later that his protege was right behind him, "Is there something wrong?"

"I brought you some coffee," Alex replied politely, gesturing towards the green mug of the energizing stimulant, "Don't drink it too quickly though... it's still burning hot."

"Got it~" Izaya drawled lazily, and threw his head into his pillow with a thump, "Hahh~ I've missed this bed sooo much!"

"I know you have," Alex smiled, and headed back to do his chores, "You've told me about it every day since you woke up."

"Aah, whatever!" Izaya called back, and quickly sketched out a plan that he knew would most likely work. After all, humans were unpredictable~ just when one thinks they've got a finger on them, they always manage to do something one would least expect. That's why humans were so amusing~! Unfortunately, when it came to Shizu-chan, it was nearly impossible to even predict what his next action was going to be. How to manipulate a monster? That required some thought...

The thought of Shizu-chan brought a scowl to Izaya's lips and he reached for the coffee to wash down the disgust in his chest. The coffee however, was still scorching hot, and he yelped when his finger brushed the surface of the mug. He quickly licked his burning red finger in attempt to cool it down and glared at the mug. He had decided he would never use that mug again, and smash it on Shizu-chan's head or something. Unfortunately, it seemed that the yelp he let out was louder than he had thought.

"Is something of the matter?" he heard Alex call from outside of his room, probably in the midst of dusting his mini-library, "Do you need help?"

"Nope, I'm alright!" Izaya called back, "It's nothing!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Get back to work!"

A weak submission to his orders was heard from outside, and Izaya rolled his eyes. The mutt was such a worry wart, sometimes it was a little annoying. Nevertheless, he loved him all the same. Izaya's thoughts then led him to Alex, and the many mysteries he hadn't managed to solve. Deciding he should start researching a little more on the man he had hired as a servant, secretary and bodyguard, he immediately collected the data he had available in his head and began to search around.

Knowing that he had a big sister, and partially knowing who the big sister was, it wasn't too hard to gather his large network of sources to find that a man who could potentially be him. The man had been erased from existence, and much of the data was deleted, but he managed to recover them mostly or not quite intact. There were many different characteristics they shared, they almost seemed too different. Izaya's intuition told him that they had something in common, and he knew to trust his intuition. He just needed some more information.

The man was an assassin, and he was constantly on the move. Disowned at a young age by his rich family, he went into the business of murdering for money, which he was known to have a talent for, and even ripped off his own face for the sake of disguising himself better. Rumors stated the assassin was mental, but Izaya doubted it was as dramatic as they described it. The stories humans would tell usually grew and grew until the bloomed into a super action story of great exaggeration, which always managed to greatly amuse Izaya. The assassin disappeared a few months ago from the underground business world, and apparently was never seen again.

He sipped his cooled bitter coffee and busily clicked on a few forums and threads that was posted on a few of his favorite sites. The next thread of information he obtained contained doubts if it was really a male or a female, or perhaps even both. Speculations, speculations. As long as it was a human, Izaya didn't quite care if it was a he or she was human. All humans had to be treated equally with love~! Now the question was if Alex was this man or not. There must be some connection, but he couldn't pin down what it was.

The assassin he read about fit the information he had obtained from Shiki-san almost exactly. He typed down the information and stored on a private file, thinking of sending it to Shiki-san later.

Pleased with his work, he shut his laptop down and placed it back on the counter. The medication was going strong now, the effects heavily taking place on him as it pumped through his blood. Feeling woozy and a little more than disorientated, he let himself slip into the comforts of his lovely mattress, falling into a state of deep sleep.

He would later on wake up to notice that he had been tucked into bed, but his laptop had been tampered with. All files left alone but his recently saved file on the assassin. The coffee had been spiked.

Something in his deep in chest stirred.

That damn mutt.


	16. Collecting Pawns

**Chapter 16: Collecting Pawns**

He pretended he didn't know, but he did. Izaya was not happy with his secretary at all, but it did give him clues of what went on in that empty head of his. Sometimes, in rare cases, it was rather hard to read his secretary, as those clear big blue eyes kept getting in the way. They would occasionally become like mirrors, only showing you your reflection and not what was really going on the inside. It was just once in a while, when he got close to a topic on Alex's past, it would happen, and Izaya didn't like it.

From ever since Izaya had received the job from Shiki-san, he had suspected it could be Alex, but now that he had somewhat substantial proof, he had no reason to deny it. It was no longer jumping to conclusions, it was now simply suspicions and possible outcomes. To think Alex had the nerve to act as if nothing had happened... though if Izaya wasn't Orihara Izaya, he would've possibly never had found out about his laptop being searched through, or anything had changed at all. Alex had good skills. Izaya was better.

"Ah geez, I'm tired," Izaya complained, spinning around in his spinny chair, "I just took a nap though... not fair~!"

"You _are_ recovering Izaya-san," Alex remarked, while he cooked their next meal, "Besides, your nap was only half an hour."

"Half an hour of precious, precious time, Alex-kun," Izaya pouted, and slumped while he propelled himself with his feet, "Think of what I could do!"

"...eat something? Go to the bathroom?" Alex suggested, taste testing a piece of tofu.

"Always the dirty mind, aren't you?" Izaya teased, and sent Alex into a fit of spluttering and choking on the tofu, "I'm kidding~ hahaha!"

Feeling better, seeing Alex panicking and flustered, he relaxed into his chair and dazed off. If Alex really was the assassin, what would he do? He already had many plans he had constructed for cases such as these, but he didn't know which would be the most effective. Alex had been a very good dog so far, and he didn't want to lose his pawn on the chest board. It really all depended on what the mutt was thinking on the inside, as thought process really drove humans along their paths and decisions. What if Izaya had misread Alex? What if Alex really was planning to completely ruin him, well hidden inside? Even though his head was mostly composed of shiny blonde locks and blue watery eyes?

In the rare cases of self doubt, Izaya had decided left it to intense observation. He would take Alex with him to places more often to evaluate his reactions and opinions. If Alex knew his plan, and really did want to ruin it, it would definitely show one way or another. If he didn't know or care, Izaya would find out. Either way, he wanted to finally settle the deal with Alexander Sanders once and for all. He was spending way too much resources on just one single human, it was unfair to all the others.

"Izaya-san? Are you falling asleep?" Alex asked, snapping Izaya out of his daze.

"I'm going to visit someone in the hospital afterwards," Izaya stated calmly, looking Alex in the eyes with a smile, "Want to come? As you can probably tell, I'm not too well off just yet~"

"Of course sir," Alex said, returning the smile, "Let's finish lunch first."

As usual, the food tasted great. Just for precautions, he tested the food before chowing down, in case anything was slipped in while Alex wasn't looking. To his great relief there wasn't. After they finished, Alex set the dishes in the sink to wash later, while Izaya gathered up his materials and his disguise. By the time he came out from the bathroom, all prepped up and ready, Alex was waiting for him by the door, smiling brightly upon seeing Izaya like a dog excited for his walk.

"Alright, let's go Alex-kun," Izaya said gently, stepping out from his apartment and taking in the evening view, "I don't want any troubles for this, so I'm going to be relying on you to prevent any commotion, got it?"

"Yes sir," Alex saluted obediently and protectively stood behind the informant, who locked the door behind him.

Izaya remained cheerful and conversed with his secretary, as he secretly observed Alex's body language carefully. So far, he had seen that Alex meant no harm, and was doing his job, like he had always done. That was no good, he needed to see more, not just what was on the outside, but he needed to peer into the depths of how Alex-kun worked.

"...Izaya-san, you're wearing a black fur coat this time?" Alex asked, smiling almost nostalgically.

"I know right?! I haven't worn this thing in so long, yet it's my favorite~ Sad, isn't it..." Izaya sighed dramatically, clinging to his favorite black coat as if it was his life, "I need to change back into Orihara Izaya once we reach our destination, and the fur coat seems to have somehow become my trademark. People almost don't even recognize me without it... How preposterous~!"

"Well, It-..." Alex started, but seemed to contemplate on what he was about to say a bit more. Izaya smirked, able to read what he had intended to say.

"I know, I know! I do look good in it~ I look good in everything don't I?" Izaya giggled, as he twirled around to show off the coat, and sent Alex blushing madly, "Alex-kun, you need to work on your compliments~ they seem to cut short when it's most important~!"

"I- er... well-!" Alex started stumbling on his words again, and sent Izaya into a laughing fit. No matter if he was assassin or not, seeing the tall, strong blonde stuttering and unable to speak properly was very funny to Izaya. He patted his dog on the back and they moved along, carefully walking with the crowd as they headed towards where Izaya wanted to go.

They finally arrived at a hospital, and a local one at that. It seemed almost welcoming when the white structure was colored a warm yellow by the sun, although no individual would want to wind up here at all. It seemed like a slow day, not a lot of emergencies, as nurses headed towards their rooms and doctors finished writing reports of medication and other things of such. Izaya and Alex easily strolled through the white halls, passing the desk clerk and security simply by saying, "we're here to visit someone" and stating a room number. Alex had no clue who, but Izaya seemed to know what he was doing and led him straight to room 407 on the fourth floor.

"I want you to guard the door," Izaya backed into a more secluded corner, and pulled off his hair extensions in the security camera's blind spot, "I need to talk to this patient a bit. He's important you see~? Make sure no one is around, and don't look suspicious while you're doing it. If you see someone who's about to enter the room for whatever reason, give a small knock on the door and I'll finish up~! This may take a while though~!"

Alex agreed and watched Izaya, back in his usual outfit, slip into the dark room, and took a guarding stance in front of the door before realizing it would look strange and out of place. He quickly thought of ways to blend in with the environment and yet not look suspicious, but he wasn't experienced in this area. It took some time before he figured something out.

Meanwhile, Izaya quietly walked through the dark room. The curtains were closed, preventing any light from outside to shine through from the window, and the hospital lights were closed. He towards the lone, still figure underneath the blankets, seeming to be asleep, but Izaya knew better. The breathing was just a tad frantic, and it was unnatural. The patient's heart must've been beating pretty fast.

"Well, hello there," Izaya smiled pleasantly, though it looked rather menacing in the dark and caused the seemingly dormant person to freeze up, "Do you know who I am?"

The question Izaya posed was met with a deep long silence, while the person tried desperately yet meaninglessly one more time to pretend to be asleep.

"Come on now, we both know that you're awake," Izaya chuckled, and bent down until their heads were on the same level, his calculating sharp eyes fixed on the person's face, which was covered by the blandly white blankets, "Right? Hana-chan~"

There was a shift and a pause, before a scared face poked itself out of the blankets. The man had a goatee and he had clearly dyed his hair a nice bright shade of red-orange, like a wildfire. He had a few piercings on his ears and nose, silver earrings, that giving him a delinquent feel. It was the same face of the same man that got stuck under the truck. The exact same man that Izaya had risked his life to save, and ended up injuring himself for.

His head was wrapped with white bandages, but nevertheless, it was quite clear that he was almost fully healed. He had a terrified expression engraved on his face, as he stuttered, "O-Orihara Izaya..."

"What? No honorifics?" Izaya made a pouty face, before laughing happily, the cackling fully creeping the fully grown man out, "That's fine, I refer to you as Hana-chan after all~! But to think such a lovely name that means 'flower' ...belongs to such a scruffy old man like you~ ah! That was rather impolite of me... wasn't it~?"

The man shook his head repetitively, almost in a frantic manner, eyes wide open with fear as he clutched to his blankets and sunk into the bed. Hana Eiji, had heard of the man before, and he had experienced the effects of the man's great power to play Ikebukuro like it was his playground. One of his friends had a friend who nearly died because of him, and he was still recovering in a hospital due to the extent of the injury. He had been warned about Izaya, and he was to never cross the information broker.

Unfortunately for him, Izaya had set his eyes on him. Pawns didn't get to decide whether they got to live or not, because they were just stepping stones for the stronger ones. There was a reason why there were more pawns on a chess board than anything.

Eiji was to become one of his chess pieces, whether he liked it or not, and he knew it.

"What, cat's got your tongue?" Izaya smiled dauntingly, "Ah, well, not to worry, because we'll be getting to know each other _reeaal_ well~!"


	17. Feelings

**Chapter 17: Feelings**

Izaya's mood had increased dramatically from when he went in the dark room, compared to when he came out. Alex was relieved to see that his employer was feeling better, because while walking to the hospital, he felt Izaya seem a little down, jittery, or a little... gloomy? Once Alex stated his relief to Izaya, the informant immediately frowned and growled something under his breath. He patted Alex on the head for a job well done, and starting to head home.

Alex felt slightly ashamed for saying anything, because Izaya very quickly dropped back into a gloomy mood, grumbling and kicking nearby pebbles as they made their way through the city. Izaya looked almost like a kid, pouting because he didn't understand something. Alex found that quite cute, and couldn't help but smile a bit.

"Alex-kun," Izaya muttered, seeming rather put off, as he stuffed his hands in his fur coat pockets, "You don't need to come to work tomorrow."

"Eh?" Alex blinked, raising his head to meet Izaya's eyes in astonishment. Was his employer not happy with his performance? Feeling genuinely worried about it he asked, "Is there something wrong?"

Izaya paused, staring sharply into his big blue eyes for a moment. Izaya then thought, that the dog was sharper than he looked sometimes, it honestly intimidated him a bit. He let the silence drag on for a few, before heaving a sigh, "No. Nothing. I'm just not going to be doing anything tomorrow, because I'm tired."

"B-but I-" Alex protested weakly, not wanting to leave him alone. He enjoyed his job quite a bit, and loved his employer too; all of Izaya's little quirks, crooked thinking, and stranger features were quite charming to Alex.

"Don't worry about it, I'll be fine," Izaya said, giving an assuring smile, "and if it's money you're worried about, I'll still pay you-"

"No! Not at all!" Alex replied quickly, "It's just that I... I..."

Izaya's maroon eyes narrowed, and he leaned forwards, almost touching noses with his secretary. A slight blush formed on Alex's cheeks, "You've been working for me consecutively since the day I hired you. Don't you want a vacation?"

"Yes, b-but I-" _only __if it's with you..._

Alex realized what he had just thought and felt his face heat up, to the point where he thought he had steam shooting out of his ears. Izaya smirked, and laughed at how hilarious Alex knew his face probably looked. While he was embarrassed, he was glad he could make his employer happy, and smile the way he did.

"What, do you like me that much?" He giggled, wiping a stray tear from his eye. Izaya smiled brightly at Alex, who couldn't help but answer seriously, when met with the view that made his heart jump and speed up like a roller coaster.

Izaya was confused, when he saw his bodyguard suddenly stop in his tracks. Was it something he said? He always felt that Alex liked him a lot, but he didn't know that saying such a thing would have such an effect. He noticed Alex's posture relax, as if finally loosening his muscles after a long time and his facial expression soften. What was he going to do? Izaya stayed glued to the spot, as he watched Alex slowly take a step towards him, and extend his arm forwards. Seeing no apparent threat, he let Alex stick his fingers in his hair and feel the soft silkiness of the strands.

"What're you doing? Alex-kun?" Izaya mumbled, feeling Alex run his fingers through his hair. It felt almost soothing, but at the same time it made him more aware of where he was -in the middle of the streets of a highly populated city, at a standstill in the middle of many passing people.

"I..." Alex murmured, as if preparing himself for what he was going to say, "I like you very much Izaya-san..."

"Is that so?" Izaya replied cheerfully with a smile, sharp red eyes meeting soft blue ones, "What is it you like about me?"

Alex hesitated for a bit, his cheeks coloring a deep shade of red, "You... make me feel _alive_."

...Wow.

How cliche.

Straight out from a movie.

Izaya felt almost immature for the laughter punching at his gut, urging for release. He couldn't help it, he had never heard any human or any being for that matter actually say the cheesy romance line right in his face, making it so much funnier though it shouldn't be. He tried his best to contain it for delicacy's sake, "Is that so? A-Alex-kun?"

"Y-yes."

"...p...pff..."

"Huh?"

"Ahhh, it's nothing Alex-kun, it's just that I- PFT," Izaya choked, and took deep breath as a last attempt of regaining calm, "I f-feel very ho-honored..."

"Izaya-san...?"

There was no helping it, it was like a dam release. Laughter was knocking on the flaps of his mouth, reading to come flowing out in a matter of seconds. Izaya couldn't do anything but let the pressure build up, effectively making his cheeks glow red, and hold it in for as long as he could before it exploded out of his mouth like a volcano eruption. He just needed some time to calm down, some time without interruptions to clear his mind.

"...are you okay?"

Too late.

"BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAHAH!" Izaya laughed, doubling over and almost falling onto his knees if Alex hadn't come to support him, "AAAHAHHAHAHAAH!"

"I-Izaya-san don't laugh!" Alex complained weakly, his whole face getting redder than Izaya had ever seen it, only serving to make him even weaker in the knees, choking on himself until Alex was pretty much carrying him as his body shook with laughter.

"AAAH IT HURTS HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA I CAN'T STO-PFFFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"M-mean..."

"SOR-HEHAHAHA-YHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, EHAHAHAHAHAHAH MY SIDES HAHAHA AAOOWOWWWWWWW *cough* *choke* HAHAHAHA- *gag*!" Izaya coughed, running out of air to laugh with. His outburst had attracted the attention of so many people that they nearly panicked when they saw his face turn nearly purple because of lack of oxygen. Alex quickly swooped him up in his arms and escaped before any more important or dangerous people came to see the commotion, all while Izaya was still busy trying to stop himself from laughing until he broke.

By the time they reached his apartment, Izaya was still being carried by Alex, hugging onto his back, and his face buried in the crevice of Alex's neck and shoulder, trembling from the lack of energy. Yet small weak sounds of chuckling still escaped from his mouth.

"Are you done, Izaya-san?" Alex asked, seeming tired and weary from all the energy used from dealing with Izaya.

A weak 'no' came from Izaya, as he continued to shake, completely depleted and weak from laughing so much at Alex's strange confession line, along with 'my sides are sore'.

"Well, you shouldn't have laughed so much then," Alex mumbled, slightly put off as he reached into Izaya's coat pockets for the keys to the apartment and fumbled it into the lock with his one available hand, using the other to support Izaya, "That's what you get."

"S-s-so m-mean Alex-kun~" Izaya murmured playfully, almost falling over when he was set back onto his feet, "Pffthahahaha..."

Not again. Alex sighed and set their coats to aside, leaving their shoes in a neat and organized order and joining Izaya on the couch. He was lying on his side and hugging his tummy, as if that would magically heal his sore abdominal muscles. They fell into a peaceful silence, both grateful that the never-ending laughing had stopped.

"Alex-kun?" Izaya asked after a while, his voice slightly cracking as he recovered enough to speak.

"Yes?"

"Take a break tomorrow. I got stuff to do on my own."

Knowing it was probably useless to argue against it, Alex bowed his head and almost dejectedly replied with an 'alright'. Izaya smiled at the resemblance between Alex and a kicked dog. Deciding to give Alex a reward, he crawled onto Alex's lap, giving him a warm hug with his small body frame.

"Good doggie," he murmured, glancing over at the clock, as he rested his head on Alex's chest, "It's time for you to go though."

Alex nodded, eyes turning sad. He returned the hug and let himself relish in Izaya's warmth, before standing up and preparing to leave. Izaya sent him off, and waved goodbye with a smile as he watched Alex salute and walk off into the distance, the sun's light already turning into the darkness of night. Alex glanced up at the stars, and the moon that was just starting to peek it's head out of the horizon.

Alex felt a wave of regret hit him, and a sliver of guilt claw its way into his chest, feeling as if karma had returned to get him.

He shouldn't have drugged Izaya, to search through his computer after all.


	18. Possessive

**Chapter 18: Possessive**

Izaya watched the man leave, waiting for him to walk far enough before skipping to his office and opening up his computer. He had planted a bug on the soles of Alex's shoes, both of them, deep in a crevice camouflaged as the same material. It was amazing what technology could do nowadays. The bug's signals were special, only traceable with his computer, and nothing else. He flicked it open, and suddenly the sounds of walking was to be heard.

Feeling triumphant at his success, he dragged the window to the side of the screen so that he would be able to keep track while he worked on other things. Hopefully Alex wouldn't find it, and if he did, hopefully he would just think it was bubble gum and leave it be. Or throw it out. Whatever. He just didn't want it to lead back to him.

Izaya stood up to turn off the lights, not wanting his apartment to stand out from the rest of the building. In the dark, his computer screen glowed a bright white, illuminating colorful patterns onto Izaya's face. A week had passed since the explosion, and he figured there should be more media released about it by now. Humans usually took their times. He opened up internet and found a video on his feed, bad quality but typical for cellphone cameras. He clicked on it and watched.

It started with the many faces, panicking as they scrambled to get further away from the site, Kida-kun shooing them to a safer distance. Then, over the heads of a few people, he saw himself, face safely hidden with his hood, with Haru-chan unconscious on his back. Shizu-chan was busily setting the truck down. Among the many sounds of people chattering and murmuring, he heard himself shout a warning about the truck, before a colorful explosion occurred, a heavy cloud of dust and smoke rushing towards the crowd, essentially blinding the camera.

After a full 30 seconds of near blindness and scared, angry, panicked protests of his humans, he spotted himself on the ground, Haru-chan weighing heavily down on him and Shizu-chan almost beside him, probably blown there by the explosion. The monster managed to recover in merely 10 seconds, suddenly jumping to his feet, exclaiming some nonsense about him being pissed or whatever (when was he not?). That's when Alex walked out of the crowd towards Izaya, but something was different. He could see it.

Alex's body language spoke of one with authority, and he seemed not like a mutt, but like the alpha leader of a pack of wolves. He seemed colder, and much more tense and distrusting. Izaya almost didn't recognize this Alex, but nevertheless he couldn't deny they were the same person. This different Alex slipped Hana-chan off his back and gathered in him into his arms, before standing up and almost walking away, before Shizu-chan demanded who he was.

"_I'm her brother... she's my step-cousin,_" he replied indifferently, the voice barely heard over the whispers and murmurs of the crowd.

"_HAAAAH?! YOU MEAN THAT FLEA-_"

"_I have no clue who you're talking about_," Alex interrupted, "_But you're disturbing me and wasting time. The man there looks pretty screwed up, why don't you help out instead of disrupting for pointless reasons?_"

Shizuo clearly became furious because of what he said, but when he moved forwards to grab him, he fell on his knees. Izaya raised his eyebrows, and taking in the scene with delight, enjoying the monster's face of agony. So a even monster like him would be affected by an explosion... Izaya decided to use that more when he was to fight with Shizu-chan again.

_"Useless_," Alex rolled his eyes and walked away, the crowd instantly backing away from his frosty, demeaning presence, leaving Izaya very impressed. He hadn't manage to see this side of Alex yet, making him more and more curious what this human of his had hidden deep inside. It was an endless puzzle! Feeling excitement flow through him, he laughed happily and let it soak into him, the fact that he had finally found a human -not a monster- that held a more complicated maze, with changes that he couldn't figure out just like that. It was a game, and he finally found the dungeon.

His phone rang, and he happily grabbed the receiver and sang, "Hellloooooooooooo~!"

"You seem like you're in a good mood," a calm cool voice came in from the other side.

"It's because I am! How did you know Shiki-san~~?!"

"You are singing. You are talking very weirdly."

"You seem to know everything~!" Izaya smiled, and spun around happily in his chair, giggling and cackling, and explaining how he felt. He felt the one-sided conversation wane, before realizing that he was stretching the limits of Shiki's patience. The atmosphere of his employer's mood was dark and unhappy, definitely something he didn't want to mess around with and get on his bad side. Izaya already had a bunch of yakuza after him, he didn't need more.

"-haha! Well, nevermind me..." Izaya said abruptly, cutting himself off, "it seems that something bad has happened, hm~? What's up?"

"It's the assassin," Shiki said coldly, his tone deep and quiet, preparing Izaya for his next few words, "_my men are dead_."

A moment of silence blew over, instantly silencing Izaya from any more sounds or movement. The assassin? Of the assignment Shiki-san had given him?

"What time did it happen," Izaya said seriously, turning around and opening a document on his computer, "I ask of you to tell me everything, Shiki-san."

The man that introduced him to the darker side of the world gave whatever information he had, his tone calm and even though Izaya could feel the underlying fury and anger rumbling like a storm. Under the calm smile that he kept up though no one was around, he felt cold sweat on his forehead as he typed. Shiki held a powerful position in the underworld, and he was the only person Izaya hadn't crossed before, and wouldn't want to try. As far as both he and Shiki knew, they held a good relationship -as long as a certain information broker didn't traitor him.

"Orihara Izaya."

"Yes~?"

"I know of your skills and your expertise. I have given you information. Now that you have it..." Shiki left a pause for effect, a classic that always seemed to work well on humans, something Izaya also loved using, "Don't let it happen again."

"Of course, Shiki-san~! Would that be your repayment?"

"Yes. Hurry up."

The line went dead from there, leaving Izaya in peace and solitude once again, mood completely different from when he first received the call. Indeed, he had received useful information from the man, but he had also received pressure. Shiki had been serious about it, and he wasn't about to let him down. He needed to find the assassin as soon as possible, even if it meant letting his humans go... or did it?

"Shiki-san, you're really scary huh?" Izaya laughed to himself, leaning back and letting the pale light of the moon shine onto his bright red eyes, "I'd never betray you, because I'm on your side you know~! But... you can't have my playthings... they're mine. Even if you are very scary~!"

His humans were his playthings. His playthings were his. He wasn't letting anyone else have them, because Izaya was possessive that way.


	19. Hiroko Yara-chan!

**Chapter 19: Hiroko Yara-chan!**

"...-ight?! Right?! Dota-chin, are you listening to me~?!" Izaya prattled, clinging onto Kodata like he was his lifeline.

Kyohei Kodata had woken up in the morning, to find some persistent, red-eyed girl to be right outside his van. It turned out that she had spent the night outside, because her parents kicked her out and she had no place to stay -finding his van was apparently completely coincidental. Erika seemed very pleased and invited her in, demonstrating her huge collection of mangas while Walker took care of the animes (Erika suddenly screamed something about BL when met with the anime 'Love Stage!', and that ended the conversation quickly).

When the manga duo left to buy some beverages, the girl immediately turned and locked eyes with Kodata, starting to list off things they had apparently done in the past. There was going to the movies (which he had no memory of), playing at the park (which he also had no memory of), talking about old friends (which he was absolutely sure he didn't know of)... Kodata was unsure, but was this a rerun of the stalker incident with the severed head and the murdering of a hardcore stalker he had heard from Erika about?

"Listen, I don't know who you are, but I'm sure I haven't met you before," Kodata replied calmly, while the girl pressed herself onto him, "and, can you stop that?"

"Stop what?!" the girl demanded, as if oblivious to what she was doing and gave him a sullen look, "I knew it, you hate me."

"...I never said that."

"How could you forget me then?" the girl mumbled, loosening her grip on him (to his relief, his arm was losing circulation), "It was like, yesterday..."

At her depressed look and her sulky pout, Kodata couldn't help but try to console her, being the kindhearted gentleman he was, "I really don't detest you, so don't think I do. Besides, maybe you were one of my classmates that I don't remember...?"

"YES!" the girl exclaimed brightly, maroon eyes wide with excitement, straightening up from her slumped position, "I was your classmate! Did you remember me?!"

"No..."

"Nooo? But..." she bit her lip as if in deep thought, thinking of ways to make him remember. Kodata then realized that she didn't even give him her identity, just randomly walked up to him and started talking like they were old friends.

"...Come to think of it, you didn't tell me what your name is."

"My name...?" She replied, and face-palmed herself in an almost exasperated manner, "How could I be so stupid? I'm Hiroko Yara-chan~! I thought I told you, but I guess not huh?"

Kodata glanced up at the roof of the van, repeating the name to himself in his head. Hiroko Yara? _Hiroko Yara? _There was something familiar about it, but he couldn't place it. Maybe the definition... _Hiro_ meant wealth, _ko _just a common addition to names if made feminine, and _Yara_ was a word for spring, but there was nothing familiar about that. What about her appearance? Hiroko-san, if he looked closely, also seemed familiar, but he couldn't place it.

"Familiar? Is my name familiar?!" Hiroko asked, looking very excited, and once Kyohei gave a hesitant nod, she cheered in success and hugged him tightly again, again making him quite uncomfortable for the unbelievably close contact the girl was exhibiting. Kodata realized how long it was taking the two, and checked the clock to find that almost half an hour had passed, and there was no signs of their return. They must've gotten stuck near a manga sale. Again.

"They're taking a while," Kodata muttered, and made to stand up. He unlocked the van back doors and stepped out, "I'm going to look for them."

"I'll come!" Hiroko grinned, following him out of the van, and closing the doors behind him with a slam, "Hiroko-chan will get lonely if she's left alone for too long!"

Kodata rolled his eyes, and locked the van before leading her towards the market area, where the vending machines were supposed to be located. Hiroko skipped along beside him, singing little kids songs and rhymes while lightly gripping the edge of his jacket as to not get lost. Kodata felt that it was weird, that he felt as if Hiroko was his old friend although he was almost sure he didn't know a Hiroko Yara, but he figured that it must've been bad memory that he forgot her, or something of the such. He would trust her until something came up.

"If you're going to grip the edge of my jacket, you'll rip it or something," he said, took her hand, catching her by surprise.

"Wow~ what a lady's man~!" she giggled, and wrapped her slender fingers around his hand, "You always had the ladies swooning over you~!"

"Sure," Kodata said, remembering his high school days when the girls loved to stare at him, and make funny little cutesy remarks when they thought he couldn't hear or see them, "It was an interesting experience."

"Oh yeah, you sure were scarred by them huh?" Hiroko smiled sweetly, "Remember that time you were trampled alive by fan girls, and most of your clothes taken? Pfft! What your mother had to say when she saw you butt-naked!"

Kyohei grumbled, not wanting to go over his horrible past, in addition to his mom's scolding session when she got the wrong idea, "Not talking about that."

They walked around for a while, not able to find the manga addicts, even at the vending machines. Kadata sighed, thinking that they must've never even made it to the vending machines before they got distracted and went somewhere else to do something else. The girl hummed a tune that he felt was very familiar, (everything about the girl was familiar), but even that he didn't recognize. He then realized how long the girl had stayed with him, and became worried.

"Uh..." Kodata started, hoping he had gotten her attention, which he knew he did when she almost turned around to face him but stopped halfway. Confused by what she was trying to do, he tried again, "Excuse me... hello...?"

"No~! that won't do!" She stated finally, and crossed her arms in a sulking position, "I'm not going to talk to you unless you call me by my name!"

Kodata sighed, and tried once more, "Hiroko-san?"

"What?!" She seemed almost offended by what he had said, "am I that old?!"

"...Hiroko..._chan_?"

"Yes Dota-chin~~~?!" Hiroko laughed happily, and Kodata couldn't help but roll his eyes. Women could be pleased by the simplest things sometimes.

"Aren't your parents going to be worried?"

It seemed that the topic was a taboo, as the girl froze and gradually her expression became guarded and stiff. Her eyebrows creased, and her eyes became sharp, as she turned around towards him, black silky hair flinging outwards as she moved and looked him in the eyes for a moment. He was rather surprised at her seriousness that she hadn't displayed until that moment, as he steadily held her gaze, staring into the red depths of her pupils and spotting his own reflection.

"They'll be fine," she said, almost as if she was forcing the mere topic of her parents out of her mouth, "It's absolutely okay."

"...Okay," Kodata replied, not wanting to upset the girl too much, "Are you sure?"

Her lip trembled as she was going to let out tears, but her eyes remained dry. Almost as if she had built a dam inside herself to prevent any rivers from flowing. She seemed on the edge of breaking down from the building pressure inside of her, when Walker suddenly burst into the scene with Erika in tow, shouting, "HOLD IT! HOOOOLD IT!"

"Really Dota-chin! You made the girl cry on a date!" Walker scolded, shaking his head as if teaching a child some manners, and Erika added, "bad boyfriend, you are!" as if she was Yoda from Star Wars.

"I thought better of you!"

"Very sad, we are."

"You're such a gentleman, this is the first time we've seen such a thing with our bare eyeballs!"

"Very disappointed, we are."

"You should apologize!"

"Ask for forgiveness, you shall," Erika stated wisely, while stroking a non-existent yet long beard, "That, is the way, young Padawan."

Kodata, who had been face-palming the whole time, asked, "were you stalking us from somewhere and watching us instead of coming back to the van?"

"You can't blame us, M. Boyfriend et Mme. Girlfriend were all alone in the truck!" Erika exclaimed, and shook him back and forth repeatedly, "THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIESSSSSSS! KYAH!"

Kodata sighed, and understood Erika to be the eccentric fan girl, doing things for reasons he didn't want to comprehend... so he turned to Walker with a questioning look that demanded why on Earth Walker had pitched in and hopped onto the crazy train to the world of the un-unseeable.

"It seemed like fun," Walker grinned, earning another face-palm from Kodata.


	20. Bad Person

**Chapter 20: Bad Person**

Hiroko Yara was a pretty smart name, and Izaya was quite proud of himself for thinking of it. If you reversed the name, it would become Yara Hiroko. Write it backwards, it would become okorih aray. Izaya suggested that if it doesn't pop out yet, take a closer look. okorih aray. Orihara. He had managed to include his own last name into the name. One might think it was reckless and somewhat stupid, but Izaya knew that Kodata's mind quite well, being somewhat buddies during high school. If he heard something that had any relationship to anything he knew, he would feel it was familiar and start wondering about it, making his excuse as being someone he knew in the past (but forgot) perfectly valid to Kodata.

Feeling triumphant at his so far success and very pleased, he skipped alongside of Kodata, who was now strolling back towards the van with his two anime addicts in tow. Everything was going to plan so far, he just needed a certain someone to show up sooner or later. Izaya didn't want to stay too long with Kodata, making him think that he was possibly 'running away from home' or something. He knew Kodata was kindhearted enough to lend a girl a place to stay (at his van) for the night, and Izaya didn't want to sleep in the cramped up area beside Erika and Walker, knowing their weird hobbies of pulverizing people according to a chosen manga.

"Hiroko-sa-"

"CHAN. Hiroko-CHAAAAAAN." Izaya interrupted, wagging his finger at his old classmate, like a teacher scolding a child.

"...Hiroko-chan," He complied, and scratched his head (beanie) almost sheepishly, "Are you going to hang around us for the rest of the day?"

Izaya raised his eyebrow as if questioningly at Kodata and asked steadily, "Do you not want me around? I can totally leave if you want."

"NONSENSE! You are sooo welcome here!" Erika exclaimed, cutting Kodata off when he opened his mouth to reply, "WE HAVEN'T SHOWED YOU 'NO GAME NO LIFE' YET!"

"Ah~ you mean that anime/manga about those two siblings who got thrown into a world of games!" Izaya smiled, knowing his own fair share of anime/manga knowledge, "I watched the first bit of the first episode..."

"Really?" Walker spoke excitedly, "Did you like it?"

"It's not very realistic..." Izaya spoke his true opinion, "but I guess that's what makes it interesting."

"Well, mangas and animes are supposed to be used to escape reality after all," Erika smiled, and suddenly blushed red, clutching her cheeks and squirming on the spot, "LIKE BL! KYAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"K-Kodata-san! Erika- Erika's being sucked in again!"

"KYAAAAAAAAAH! KYAH KYAH KYAAAH! SHIZAYA SHIZAYA SHIIIZAAAYAAA KYAAAAH!"

Kodata sighed at their antics and kept on heading towards the van, leaving the two behind as they struggled to recover from Erika's freak-out session. What she had said had gotten Izaya's attention though, because Shizaya sounded strangely like the mixing of his name with some other monster's name that he didn't want to talk about.

"What's Shizaya?" Izaya asked innocently, and Erika's eyes flashed red, like she had found fresh meat to butcher up. Erika pounced onto Izaya like a tiger and started raving about finding a manga kouhai, recruiting a fellow fan girl, and BL or something that Izaya didn't understand under her spluttering of words.

"I-I-It's when S-Shizuo-san and I-Iza-" She got herself cut off, when a stream of blood spurted out of her nose like a waterfall, causing Walker to scream in horror.

"Kodata-saaan! Call an ambulance, Erika's dying! Kodata-saaaaan!"

Kodata grumbled, as he helped Walker support a wobbling Erika who was swooning in the ecstasy of her own little BL universe, imagining all sorts of things that can't be mentioned in a fanfiction rated T. Izaya made a mental note to search it up at home, because he wanted to know about it if it concerned him and Shizu-chan. Not that he wanted to know anything about the monster, because just hearing about the bartender gave Izaya shudders and made him feel nauseous from disgust.

Speaking of monsters and nauseousness... Izaya noticed a splash of blonde hair in his peripherals, and immediately recognized it to be the one person he was hoping to encounter. This was perfect, the perfect opportunity.

"Eh? Look Dota-chin!" Izaya exclaimed, tugging his sleeve, "Do you remember him?!"

"Shizuo?" Kodata mumbled, recognizing his old classmate almost instantly, "Of course I do. He's on television almost everyday."

"I thought his brother was the actor?" Izaya placed a finger on his cheek almost as if in confusion.

"Eh?"

"You know! Kasuka Heiwajima-kun! He's an actor~!"

"No, I'm talking about how he keeps on fighting with Izaya everyday, and always ends up on TV. Whether it be in the background, or just straight out busting into the reporters way..." Kodata trailed off, and shrugged, "Things haven't changed much. Well then, let's-"

A large vending machine came flying out of nowhere, and Izaya let himself get pulled out of the way by Kodata. The humans behind him immediately scrambled out of the way, surprised and astonished at the large public property that smashed itself into the building wall, embedded deeply into the bricks, before tilting and crashing back onto the ground. Izaya wondered how much money Shizu-chan would have to pay back now, and started calculating the numbers in his head.

"Izayaaa..." Shizuo growled, ripping a stop sign from the ground, "I thought I told you never to come back to Ikebukuro ever again..."

"Eh?" Izaya replied, as if shocked and spun around to face the monster with his red eyes wide with confusion, "Don't tell me you're getting confused, again!"

"Don't even try to fool me anymore," Shizu-chan smirked, and violently swung the sign at Izaya, who let out a squeal and didn't bother to react to the attack right away, knowing his reaction time was quite faster than a normal human's. He braced himself as time seemed to slow down, and let the metal of the sharp edge of the sign almost brush him before he suddenly backed away, leaving a long sharp mark on his beautiful fur coat.

"Ah! My coat!" Izaya exclaimed, seeming almost distraught, "How could you~?! It was on sale!"

"To actually dress up in a drag, what, is that your new hobby or something?" Shizu-chan pushed his glasses up his nose and walked forwards, a stop sign ready at his side for when he had to swing it, "That's pretty gross, even for you."

"What~~?" the informant replied, a nervous smile fixed on his lips, backing up slowly from the clearly pissed off bartender, "I'm telling you, you've got the wrong person~!"

Shizuo brought the sign down on Izaya, who let out a sigh. If the monster wasn't going to be convinced that he was a girl, he would have to act like one even more... and besides, Dota-chin would definitely help a damsel in distress if he made the situation right. Izaya watched with wide eyes, as the time once again slowed and the sign seemed to brush his hair, before he moved slightly to the left so that the sign wouldn't harm any important parts of his body.

It slammed onto him hard, and he let out a cry as he sank to the ground, clutching his shoulder area which was now completely numb from lack of blood, along with a slowly forming purple bruise that was definitely going to last for a while. Checking for broken bones, he looked up to Shizu-chan, who seemed surprised that he didn't dodge his attack, summoning tears that threatened to spill out of his red eyes. He let his lip quiver, but sat up straight as if trying to put of a front.

"I-I know Shizu-chan isn't a bad person!" 'Hiroko' said with a small smile, voice shaky with pain and hair slightly disheveled, "please don't prove me wrong..."

At this point, Dota-chin seemed to have seen enough and stepped between him and Shizu-chan like a shield, just as Izaya hoped he would. Kodata hesitantly stated his opinions, "I don't know about you, but if it was Izaya, I'd think he'd definitely dodge that. And he definitely wouldn't call you a 'good person', but taunt you or something."

Shizu-chan watched him, a look of confusion on his face. A look of horror slowly spread across his face, thinking of what he had done to a potentially non-Izaya citzen. He dashed away before Izaya could observe him further, and Izaya internally smirked in satisfaction at the monster's retreating backside. Izaya knew that the monster was starting to realize he had hurt someone he didn't mean to, and he would definitely beat himself up about it. Izaya gave himself a pat on the back for doing as he had done, and he let Dota-chin help him up. Good ending.


	21. Bad Man

**Chapter 21: Bad Man**

"Um... where are you going today, Izaya-san?" Alex asked, upon noticing Izaya slip on his fur coat, "You're not wearing your disguise?"

"Is it any of your business?" Izaya replied bluntly, causing Alex to cringe like a kicked puppy, "I'll be gone for a bit, so don't bother waiting for me if I come back too late."

Alex nodded respectively, as Izaya slipped out of the door and shut it behind him. Alex stood there for a moment, staring at the door his employer had slipped out from with a vacuum in a hand and a mop in the other, becoming worried for Izaya's safety. He shook his doubts out of his head and resumed his work. Alex knew Izaya could protect himself, and he clearly didn't want him to butt into his affairs.

Suddenly, the door burst open again and Izaya stuck his head in through the apartment door, "Oh, and the heating system needs to be repaired, it's not working very efficiently."

And with that, the door was shut again, while Alex scrambled to make a note of it.

Izaya skipped down the roads of Shinjuku, eager to reach his customer's destination. Shiki was in a bad mood, so Izaya was happy to stay out of his way. Meanwhile, since the yakuza boss wasn't hogging Izaya as his source of information, other patrons had decided to use his services, to which Izaya was very pleased to comply to. The more information he could receive from his humans, the better he got to know them after all~! The customer of the day was a old wealthy man who resembled his plush and chubby couch. There with him, was to be a young lady with blonde hair and big bust, who is also fairly rich. Izaya could guess who the woman was, and wasn't expecting her to be pleased to see him.

The much calmer atmosphere of Shinjuku put Izaya to ease, knowing that there was not as many dangers here than Ikebukuro. It also put him on the edge, because when you know where's the danger, you know where's the safest. Plus, because of the lack of danger, Shinjuku was much more boring. That was the reason why, on the whole way to the rendezvous point, Izaya was on his toes in case this was all a trick and his patron was actually after his life, not his money, which he would expect from what he had done to them in the past. Well, not them- her. The old man was more calm and calculating.

The place of meeting was a high-class restaurant, western-style like the woman would've liked it. Izaya half expected that she had bought the restaurant for herself, because he knew of her slight preference for her own homeland's food. Once he entered the shiny glass doors, immediately waiters came up and escorted him to his seat, as if they were on standby right next to the door, just waiting for him to come in. They approached a table with a plump old man who looked very pleased at the information broker's appearance, and a certain busty blonde named Amanda Ale, who seemed shell-shocked at seeing him.

"Well, if it isn't the famed Orihara of Shinjuku!" the man laughed, welcoming him with a rough pat on the back as Izaya moved to take a seat, "I cannot start to tell you how long I've been hoping to meet you!"

Izaya smiled politely, putting on professional airs, "Nice to meet you too Mr. Agustin Ale... and you too, _Amanda Ale-chan._"

The woman immediately snapped out of her daze and scowled menacingly, grinding out a few words from the deepest pitches of hatred in her heart, "Nice to see you again, _Orihara Izaya_."

"Well well! I see you two have already been acquainted!" Agustin Ale grinned widely, seeming very amused at his niece's reaction, "I thought that it's been so long since I last saw my sweet Amanda, that I had to take her with me! Nothing bad has come between you two ,I hope?"

"Oh my, of course not~!" the informant laughed heartily, and Agustin joined in, leaving Amanda to curse both his and her uncle's names in the background of the duet of laughter and cackling.

The cuisine was incredibly expensive and it came in rounds, starting with appetizers and ending with deserts. Izaya spent most of his time chattering with the man, only taking bites every now and then to make it seem as if he was contributing to the food though he honestly felt nothing to what he was consuming, much more interested in the responses of his new patrons. Amanda Ale was still shrewd and arrogant, but she seemed more cautious, which pleased Izaya. Amanda had learnt from experience it seems -now she understood that she wasn't invincible and untouchable. How amazing that it was him who taught her that important life lesson~ he was a savior!

After the meal, his patron was indeed very pleased with his skills and wide network of sources, and told him that he had very high expectations of Izaya, and that they were going to do well together. Izaya simply grinned, indeed agreeing with the man due to what Izaya was planning for his little game. Amanda seemed to whisper something in her uncle's ear, most likely something about him being a bad person to do business with and her strongly not suggesting it, but her uncle laughed her off and stepped into his long and shiny limousine, much to Izaya's amusement.

Amanda didn't get on the car when they drove away. Seeing her stomp towards him in her pointy heels, he assumed she had something to say to him. "Look here, scum!" she growled, looking quite menacing with her cleavage working like a lion's mane, "If you do anything funny-"

"I wouldn't dare!" Izaya said dramatically, putting a hand on his chest while wearing a crooked grin, "Wouldn't dream of it! What gives you such an idea?"

"YOU! DON'T EVEN JOKE-"

"Relax Amanda-san, I was only trying to help give you some valuable experience~!" Izaya smirked, like a kid who was proud that they had done something amazing, "you understand now right? No human is untouchable~!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE-" she never got to finish her sentence.

"Fine, how about we make a deal?" the informant purred, "Since you don't seem to have any faith or trust in me..."

"What is it?!" she huffed, face red from her fits and outbursts. Amanda looked at him with distrust, causing Izaya to muffle a chuckle of content.

"I won't ever put you into such a situation ever again... I promise~!" Izaya started with a professional smile, and crossed his heart as if it would seal the deal, "but in exchange..."

"Like I'll believe you!" Amanda protested, face flushing red against her will, "You're always poking into my business and messing up the way I want things to be! It's all your fault!"

"My my, aren't we getting a little ahead of ourselves?" Izaya laughed and suddenly took a step closer to Amanda, until his nose almost touched hers. The intrusion of personal space surprised Amanda, causing her cheeks to glow red not out of anger, but something else, "Do you really think I'm that interested in you? I said I love humans multiple times to you, but I didn't mean you in particular did I?"

"I-I... I! How dare you suggest such a thing?!" Amanda exclaimed, taking a quick step back and pulling her face together into a not very convincing sneer, "I would die before I even started to like you!"

"I never said anything about you liking me Amanda-san~!" Izaya said smoothly, and slowly cornered her into an alleyway, where few people could see them, "What are you implying hmm~?"

There was a moment of silence, as the two stayed very still. Amanda in the corner of an alleyway, and Izaya blocking her any path of escape. Izaya leaned forwards, causing Amanda's heart to skip a beat. His warm body was pressed to hers. His gentle breath tickled the skin on her neck, and sent shivers up her spine, and goosebumps to form. Nobody was around, the world was outside of the alleyway, all that could be heard aside from the distant chatter of humans was Amanda's racing heartbeat. In her ear, he whispered.

"Oh dear, this is a problem... do you like bad men, Amanda-san?"


	22. The Ale Family

**Chapter 22: The Ale Family**

Izaya could still remember Amanda-san's blushing face as he invaded her private space a little too much, and couldn't help but let out a laugh. She really had expected too much. When she found that Izaya had intended to do none of the things he had let her think he was going to do, her face reddened and she was just about ready to explode, just like a certain sibling of hers that Izaya knew she had.

The atmosphere was now awkward, as Izaya relented to her demands to accompany her home on the luxurious limousine as a price for what he had done, but Izaya seemed to be completely oblivious to the ever-growing silence as he continued to hum contently and glance out the window to take in the view of his lovely humans.

"How's your family?" Izaya suddenly asked, causing Amanda to jolt in surprise, "Doing fine I hope~?"

"None of your business," she snapped and bluntly ignored him, as if that was going to stop Izaya from asking any more questions. It didn't.

"I have two sisters," Izaya sighed, and his expression suddenly looked quite depressed, "Due to my job, they don't like me much. Or is it my personality? It kind of hurts to be hated by your family huh~?"

Amanda didn't expect the informant to share any part of his personal life with her so suddenly, that she couldn't help but look at him in shock. Izaya noticed her expression and smiled kindly, resting his chin on his hand and leaning forwards, "Okay, now it's your turn! Any siblings?"

"I-..." Amanda seemed reluctant, but remembered what her father had once told her. You must give what you receive. She swallowed the bump in her throat and slowly said, "I have a brother."

"Is that so?" Izaya grinned, not very surprised at all, "Do you two get along?"

"We haven't talked in years..." and her face instantly grew sour. She muttered under her breath, hoping the informant wouldn't hear, but Izaya's sharp ears picked it up, "and I hope we never do again."

"Oh? Bad relationship? Did something happen?" Izaya asked, putting up a worried front. He noticed her fall into silence, as she suddenly seemed to start trembling. Did he hit a sore point? He watched as her incomprehensible mutters started to make sense.

"...so...ng..happen? Something happen? SOMETHING HAPPEN!?" Amanda's face grew purple, and Izaya knew he hit the right places. Information spilled out of her, like it had been kept closed inside for decades and decades, "HE WAS A PIECE OF SHIT! HE GOES AND DOES INEXCUSABLE THINGS, AND SULLIES OUR REPUTATION AND DOES WHATEVER HE WANTS BECAUSE HE'S GOT POWER. And what happened to him?" She trailed off, laughing maniacally, "HE GOT FREAKING DISOWNED AND MURDERED! WHAT A JERK, HE DESERVED IT ALL!"

"He was pretty bad huh?" Izaya nodded understandingly, like he totally agreed to what Amanda was saying, "Do you know why he did all of those horrible things?"

"WHY ELSE?!" She screeched, blue eyes burning aflame, like she was reliving some tragic past of hers, "HE'S RICH, HE'S STRONG, HE'S GOOD LOOKING AND HE'S THE OLDEST OF US ALL, HE GOT WHATEVER HE WANTED!"

"Oldest?" Izaya's eyes widened. He didn't realize that could be a possibility, and he almost smacked himself for not considering something so obvious. Getting quite excited at the unexpected outcome, he kept slowly turning the keys to the locked doors inside of Amanda, "It must've been pretty hard to cross him."

"Of course!" she huffed, trying to calm down from her fit, "Whoever dared to even speak to him on bad days would be dead within the next few seconds."

"At least he's dead now, right?"

"Yes, I saw it myself. He's dead. There's no use putting up a fuss now," Amanda recited, almost as if to convince herself. She gripped her arms and dug her shiny, freshly manicured nails into her skin as a reminder that she was back in the real world, "I-It's done."

"Amanda-san," Izaya breathed, and gently removed her hand from her arm, "you're hurting yourself."

"Shut up!" Amanda shouted, seeming unable to gather herself back together and pushed him back onto his seat, "You don't care for me either, you just want to use me like he did!"

Izaya let his facial expression become quite calm and serious, as he watched Amanda realize how ungraceful she was acting, and become quite red in the face as she struggled to compose herself.

"I never used you, Amanda," Izaya spoke of utmost sincerity though he knew he was lying, "I will never use you. I only did that to you in the past to let you know where you stood in the grand scheme of things, because you don't listen to words as well as actions."

Amanda stiffened with distrust when he grasped her cold clammy hands with his warm ones. He looked her straight in the eyes with his impacting red eyes, "If you didn't realize that, then you would definitely fall, because there's more people after you than you think."

"Trust me Amanda," Izaya smiled sweetly, though Amanda knew that smile to be the smile he frequently used to fool his victims, "I'm on your side." Amanda wasn't fooled by his act, and he knew it. But this was different. He knew Amanda was completely smitten by him. When she relaxed into her seat, and met his eyes, he knew that he had her. She had become completely one of his pieces on the board.

Good.

He coaxed her into telling him everything, honey-coating all his words. She spilled, relenting to his urges for more information because she was tired of holding it in. Izaya had managed to get all he wanted, and his victim had complied without much fuss. As he watched Amanda enter her incredibly flashy and shiny, high-class home near Ikebukuro, he turned back and started to stroll back home, mind busily working on his new variables. Amanda had informed him of her family quite well, and be was now very sure of who might know where the actual assassin was hiding.

The Ales were a large wealthy family that did underground dealings as well as businesses that was completely legal. They had a troublesome leader who was quite refined and serious... but yet loved women a bit excessively. He seemed to have quite a lot of women he kept on reserve just for the sake of satisfying himself, which Izaya found to be laughable.

Among those women, he had two wives, one women he truly loved, and another he really had by accident. The oldest brother, was of course the oldest, therefore given much power in the group. They found he had skills in fighting and things of the like, but yet he wasn't quite skilled in talking. The leader favored the child because of his combat abilities, but according to what Amanda said, the boy had sullied their reputation by murdering someone in public, among many other things, and was eventually cast aside.

Amanda was born, from the woman he truly loved, and they pampered her. There was a moment of calm after that, many members of the family still hostile to the child of the other women. The oldest brother then seemed to have done something traumatic to Amanda, which led to him being immediately disowned and murdered. The boy's mother, the one the leader had accidentally impregnated, managed to escape the house before they managed to kill her too.

Izaya told himself to check up on the Ales when he got home, hoping he would be able to meet this lady, mother of her brother. She would prove to be of great benefit to him, and he almost laughed at how interesting the humans related to one and another. He could already sense a huge web of entanglement underneath this mystery and like a curious child, he was determined to pick at the scab until it bled...

"Izaya? Is that you~?"

...It was unfortunate that a monster had to interrupt his thinking process.

"Ehhh? Shizu-chan!" Izaya sang brightly, spinning around to face the monster, "What're you doing here? I've stayed out of Ikebukuro just like you've always wanted me to~! Oh! Could it be that you missed me?!"

"AS IF LOUSE!" Shizuo yelled, and his fists shook in attempt to control his rage, "BUT THAT'S THE PROBLEM! You haven't been sticking your scrawny butt into Ikebukuro, and recently, there's been trouble. It's you isn't it? You're causing it all to happen right... Izaaayaaa-kuuuun?"

"I'm flattered you've been missing my butt Shizu-chan." Izaya replied, causing the monster to shudder in disgust as he mock bowed, "But I'm sure you've mistaken something~! I never cause anything to happen!" _I only escalate it_ "I'm completely innocent really!" _most of the time_ "So I have no idea what you're accusing me of~!" _Of course I do. Stupid monster... such a sharp nose._

"You're only innocent 99.99 percent of the time, and this is not one of those times flea," Shizuo growled, and proceeded to step towards him, causing Izaya to back up quickly, "That's why I'm going to beat you up."

"EHHH?! How does me being guilty have anything to do with beating me up?!" Izaya felt exasperated, because only a protozoan could have such a simple thinking process, "Are you still in grade school Shizu-chan? Fighting for your swing? How immature..."

"SHADDUP!" He shouted, and wretched a sign out of the concrete floor for the nth time that week, "I'LL CRUSH YOU FLEAAAA!"

The chase was on, and that was Izaya's signal to turn and escape while he could.


	23. Finalization

**Chapter 23: Finalization**

"Welcome back Alex-kun!" Izaya cheered, receiving his secretary back with open arms, "Did you enjoy your break~?"

"I'm glad to be back," Alex nodded seeming very cheerful to be reunited with his employer as he ever-so-politely entered Izaya's apartment.

Izaya watched Alex as he acted like a dog, he wagging his tail for the silliest things, and Izaya couldn't help but sigh. Alex happily got to work by pulling out the broom and mop to start cleaning the apartment again, like it was something to be proud of, while Izaya reflected on Alex acted around Izaya compared to when he was alone. Was this an act, or was this something else? How interesting~

Extra careful for any drugs in his coffee, he sipped the dark liquid cautiously as he scrolled down the chat on the dollars webpage, feeling like it has been an eternity since he had last been on. It was about time that he caused some havoc on his favorite little friends.

_- Chrome has joined the chatroom -_

_Chrome: Hey_

_Saika: ...It was quite scary wasn't it?_

_Tanaka Taro: Oh, hello Chrome-san_

_Setton: hi_

_Chrome: What's going on?_

_Setton: We're just talking about stuff._

_Chrome: Stuff? What kind of stuff?_

_Saika: Um, it's okay. It was kind of dark and scary stuff anyways._

_Chrome: Now I'm curious guys... Come on, tell me please?_

_Tanaka Taro: Well uh, there's been a lot of people showing up dead recently_

_Chrome: Oh yeah. I was walking on my way home a few days ago and there were police sirens coming from quite close to where I live._

_Setton: That's dangerous! Where do you live?_

_Chrome: Around Ikebukuro's west gate._

_Setton: It was on the news! A murder happened there. You should be careful!_

_Chrome: I read from a forum recently that they think the demon blade is back... but I thought it was already well and done?_

_Saika: I'm sorry, I have to go._

_Chrome: Already? I just got here though haha._

_Tanaka Taro: See you!_

_Setton: bye_

_Chrome: Anyways, how's everyone doing?_

Izaya grinned and sat back in his seat, knowing that Anri-chan was probably having some issues with her precious Saika-chan. He made a note to go check up on her sometime to see how she was faring.

_Tanaka Taro: I should probably go now. I have to meet up with my friends._

_Setton: Alright, take care!_

_Chrome: Bye!_

_- Tanaka Taro has exited chatroom -_

_Setton: To be honest, I also have to leave too now._

_Chrome: Oh really? I'll see you around then._

_Setton: Bye,_

_- Setton has exited chatroom -_

_Chrome: ...bye_

_Chrome: I guess it's just me then huh?_

_Chrome: I'll be leaving too then._

_- Chrome has exited chatroom -_

Izaya scowled and pushed his laptop to aside, feeling rather down that his humans were all busy and didn't want to spend time prattling and spilling their thoughts to him (though they didn't know they who they were talking to). Well, whatever. He had work to do anyways. Opening a few more programs, his fingers flew across the keyboard as he prepared to start working.

Today was going to be special, because he was going to hack the Ale family's private database. It was rather well protected, since they had a lot of influence, but Izaya was skilled many things, one of which was hacking. He remembered the 500 page essay he wrote by hand during high school entirely based on hacking; not only computer hacking, but also pertaining to related subjects like life hacking, and so on and so forth.

The teacher seemed to hate him after that. Izaya wasn't sure if the teacher understood the complicated language he had used, but he was pretty sure his sensei didn't. It seemed that he had gotten 95% instead of his usual 100%, though it was extremely well written like all of his other projects, the simple reason being: '_you write a lot_.'

Once he infiltrated the database, he excitedly scanned through the pages and pages of history and secret information that he was sure outsiders were not supposed to read. Izaya didn't quite care, because he wasn't concerned over what horrible deeds had been done in the past of the family, which clearly listed to be a lot. He was looking to find Amanda Ale's timeline. It wasn't too hard to find, which led Izaya to the conclusion that they didn't feel the need to hide it, as it was covered in security codes and protective programs that made Izaya groan at the amount of work he was going to have to do. The programs were rather simple to a genius like him though, so he finished clearing them away quite quickly.

His sharp red eyes ran over the small words, absorbing the information into his brain as he scrolled down the list. Finally, he found what he wanted to find, and it was exactly as he thought it would be. There was one extra variable that Amanda had failed to mention. Izaya smirked triumphantly, praising himself for being so perceptive and patting himself on the back. With a laugh, he spun around in his chair and ran over the situation in his head, very pleased of the results he had come to. Realizing that he should escape the Ale's computer base before he got caught, he erased all traces of his presence in the database before retreating out of their system.

Good. Now that he was sure, all he needed was to have a nice chat with a certain person.

Izaya glanced at the time and noticed that his squabbling on the computer had been shorter than he had originally anticipated. That was great, since that meant that there was more time to do more things~!

"Alex-kun~!" Izaya hummed, and very quickly his secretary poked his head out from upstairs, glancing down at his employer. Upon looking up, Izaya could catch the happy expression Alex was sporting, that clearly spoke that he was in a good mood. Izaya wasn't sure if it would stay that way.

"Yes?" Alex replied softly, one hand holding a pair of tweezers and the other holding a garbage bag. He wore a pink handkerchief in his shiny blonde hair that truly made him look like a house husband, the one that Namie had refused to put on because it made her feel even more degraded than she already was, serving a man and cleaning up after his mess. What did Namie know.

"Let's go on a walk and spend some time together~!" Izaya winked, and Alex's cheeks heated up as he was almost blown away by the informant's cuteness, "I guess you can consider it a date~?" Izaya giggled as he felt the sense of _deja vu _blossom in his chest, as he wore on his coat and skipped out of his apartment like a child going to the candy store, with Alex trailing along behind him with his cheeks so red that he looked like he was just about ready to explode.


	24. Not As Drunk As You Thought?

**Chapter 24: Not as Drunk as You Thought?**

"Fatty tuna Simon~!" Orihara Izaya, grinned happily, once the two had both settled down in their large private room, and the large sushi man was content to comply. Simon immediately recognized Alex, the man with the blonde hair who Izaya had been chowing with, and figured they were close with each other judging by the way the foreigner blushed every time Izaya made a joke or smiled at him. He figured this was a great chance for business, and set down not one plate, but ten stacks of fatty tuna that he had somehow managed to create out of thin air, as if he had been preparing for this moment his entire life.

"E-ehm," Izaya said, surprised at the amount, but all the same amused, "That's way too much Simon, haha~!"

"This is discount," Simon smiling broadly at the two, who now had their full attention on him, "Discount for couples."

There was a moment of strange silence, before Izaya burst out laughing, almost bringing himself to tears, similar to the laugh attack he had gotten the last time Alex had been with him as company. Suddenly very worried for his employer's health (because constantly laughing this much couldn't possibly be healthy), he panicked as he tried to find ways to calm Izaya down. Simon just watched proudly, pondering on how wonderful youth was, before leaving the two in peace.

With Alex's help, Izaya's laughs had resided and he immediately got to work, munching in bliss on his favorite food as he tried to find something on the menu that Alex would like. He ordered the same sushi he ordered Alex the last time they had been at Russia Sushi, and watched happily as Alex once again struggled with the chop sticks, scattering pieces of rice all over the place.

When a few minutes passed (consisting of Izaya chattering and Alex humbly agreeing) and Alex still hadn't managed to get a single piece of sushi in his mouth, Izaya felt a bright idea spring into his head. Feeling that he had nothing to lose, Izaya went for it.

"Goodness, you're so bad at this," Izaya smirked, and picked up a sushi for Alex, much to his secretary's surprise, "Say 'ahhh'~!"

Just as Izaya expected, the blush immediately spread throughout Alex's face like a wildfire. It seemed to take a few moments for his secretary's brain to process what he had just implied, as he hesitantly opened his mouth. Just when the sushi almost reached Alex's mouth, Izaya immediately retracted it and stuffed it into his own mouth, frowning a little as he evaluated the flavor.

"Too bad Alex-kun~ I suggest you learn how to use chopsticks before I eat all your sushi for you!" Izaya sang playfully, and licked a piece of rice from the edge of his lips. He furrowed his eyebrows as he continued to judge the sushi's flavor, "Ah, but still, I like fatty tuna the best after all... hm, such a weird taste."

Izaya kept chewing the foreign taste of the sushi, occasionally frowning and occasionally prattling to Alex about something or other, as if he was trying to multitask talking and eating at the same time. Whenever he was about to speak with a mouth full, he quickly sealed his lips shut and would only speak after, determined to stay dignified and keep some good manners.

"What're you looking at Alex-kun?" Izaya asked, eyebrows raised as he faced his secretary who he had noticed was observing him since a while ago, "I know I'm beautiful, but no need to stare for so long~!"

Alex blinked, and seemed to realize what he had been doing before flushing red in embarrassment and going back to struggling with his meal. Izaya laughed, and realized that he shouldn't tease the mutt so much, even if it was unbearably fun. Maybe next time they would go to a more western restaurant, so that Alex could properly eat instead of spending half of his time learning the ways of the chopsticks. Pondering on that, he noticed that things had gotten quiet again and shook his head.

_No, that won't do~ Nothing shall be quiet, not while I'm around~!_

Once again, Izaya let his mouth run loose, and Alex sighed, pleased to hear Izaya's voice talk on and on about plans and things and stories that had happened a while back while he was conducting a case or something. He always felt secure when he heard Izaya's smooth lulling voice, it made him feel secured to reality, to where he was.

"Hey, come on Alex-kun~ are you listening to me~?" Izaya chattered, pouting a little as he tugged on Alex's sleeve, "Jeez, you make me feel soooo appreciated around here don't you? Ah! That reminds me of that other time..."

Alex never noticed himself stop all movement, eyes glued on Izaya, entranced by the other man's grace and beauty. Izaya continued to speak in pauses as he chewed on fatty tuna sushi's one after another, until he realized that his mutt was observing him again.

"What is it now~?" he hummed, and leaned onto Alex's shoulder, surprising the other with the sudden close contact. Izaya noticed the mutt hesitate, as if he really wanted to do something but couldn't bring himself to. The informant rolled his eyes, knowing what the other wanted by the way Alex's hands shook. "If you're _cold_ then just say so~ sheesh..."

Izaya moved from his seat and plopped himself onto Alex's lap, moving his plate along with him, before wrapping Alex's arms around himself like a seat belt. Alex's face was steaming red, and Izaya almost thought that he would pass out if he didn't take a breath, which Izaya eventually ordered him to, not wanting to lug his secretary who was a few heads high than him home. Izaya giggled at how awkward Alex was, and leaned back on Alex's chest, feeling his secretary's heart thump on his rib cage. The steady rhythm interested Izaya, who snuggled deeper into Alex's coat. How easy it was for a heart to stop. Izaya became very aware of the pocket knives he kept in his coat pockets, and realized how easy it was for him to just thrust a knife into Alex's chest and kill him.

Of course, he wasn't going to~ he wouldn't kill his precious human mutt~

A few moments later, Simon brought sake in the room, which was a bonus that went along with the couple discount that he had given the duo. Once he left, and a few drinks were shared, things started to heat up among the two. Izaya tottered and teetered on his lap, mumbling things that didn't quite make sense with his pale delicate skin quite flushed.

"A-and then," Izaya choked from laughter and gripped Alex's hand tightly, "They tried to kiiiiiilll me!" he slurred, and started laughing deliriously, "H-How does that even make sense?! HAHAHA I don't get it~~~!"

"Izaya-san, I think you should ease off on the sake," Alex said softly, and gently held Izaya's shaky hands, which were just about to reach out for another cup, "I think you're drunk."

"You haven't even seen the start of it~~~!" Izaya squealed, and started cackling like a maniac, and even in his drunken state Alex couldn't help but admire Izaya, who at the moment was not at all graceful, but just outright loud. Alex held the informant tight to his chest so that Izaya wouldn't try to sneak another drink again, while he himself reached for a cup. The sake at Russia Sushi wasn't bad at all. While sipping, he noticed Izaya quiet down gradually.

"Izaya-san...?" Alex asked, not able to see the informant's face from his angle, as Izaya leaned right on his chest, "Are you asleep?"

A small sound was heard from the informant, which Alex almost didn't catch, but upon glancing at Izaya's face, he noticed something that made him quite surprised. Izaya was crying. Large wet tears streamed down his flushed cheeks, his red eyes almost obscured by his long black eyelashes. Izaya's slim body seemed so delicate as he stared off into the distance. Alex realized that Izaya was probably somewhere in his head that wasn't quite here.

So one moment he's laughing his head off and the next he's crying...? Was Izaya an emotional drunk?

"Izaya-san?" Alex called his name, hoping the information broker would snap out of it, "Are you okay?"

Izaya blinked once or twice, seeming to take a while before he registered what Alex was saying. He slowly turned around and shuffled until he sat facing Alex, now face-to-face with his secretary, his eyes very close to the other's. Alex flushed up when he realized how suggestive their position looked right now, but Izaya didn't seem to notice in his drunken state.

"Alex-kun," Izaya said firmly, pressing his warm forehead to Alex's, "Why?"

"Eh?" Alex didn't understand, still concerned over their position.

"Alex-kun," Izaya's wet eyes stared into Alex's, which seemed to magically pull Alex's eyes straight to his, "Why does my family hate me?"

Alex's eyes widened at Izaya's words.

"My sisters, they don't- they don't like me," Izaya said, his voice cracking halfway, as tears continued to drip down his chin and wet Alex's clothes, "My parents never come to visit us. They were never there... w-why?" He tensed as he talked, getting more and more riled up, "MY PARENTS NEVER GAVE A CRAP ABOUT US! WHY?!"

Alex's breath shook unevenly. Izaya's situation struck him hard, for reasons he didn't want to speak of.

"I-I-..." Alex murmured, his own blue eyes icing over as he stared into Izaya's red burning eyes, "I don't know..."

Izaya's eyes narrowed, as more tears slipped down his cheeks, and Alex recognized something in his crimson eyes that he knew very well. Hurt. Izaya was hurt. Seeing that expression tore Alex's heart apart, because he knew that feeling. He had felt it so many times, that it was engraved deep in his subconsciousness, and it scarred him. Alex didn't know the answer to Izaya's question, but he knew there was at least something he could do.

"I-" Alex struggled to speak, as he enveloped Izaya in a warm hug, "Mine too. My parents never cared for me either, not once. Neither did my siblings or anyone, so I understand... so you aren't alone Izaya-san. I care."

There was no reaction at first, but gradually all the tension in Izaya's body noticeably decreased, until he was completely limp and relaxed. The hiccups and sobs evened out to be steady breaths, and Alex sure that his employer had fallen asleep this time. When he pulled away from the warm hug, he noticed his shirt was wet from tears, but he didn't mind. His attention was entirely on Izaya's sleeping face, on how relaxed and how innocent he looked contrary to when he was awake. This was the second time he saw the informant like that, and he treasured the sight.

He adjusted Izaya until he was able to piggyback him, and called for the bill. Simon came, and seemed delighted that they had indulged themselves so heavily in their food and sake. He packed up the large amounts of leftover fatty tuna as Alex instructed, (because the secretary knew that Izaya would want to have it for breakfast too), and Alex paid the bill, not at all minding that he had to pull out his wallet in the end. After he left the restaurant, he walked home with bags of fatty tuna left overs that Izaya couldn't finish in both hands, his arms supporting Izaya, who rested on his back.

They arrived home after a while, Izaya still snoozing away while Alex tucked him in bed, before he turned and left the bedroom to put the fatty tuna away. Once the door was gently closed, Izaya opened his eyes and sighed softly, so that his secretary wouldn't hear.

In reality, Orihara Izaya could hold his sake quite well. It took a lot to get him completely drunk, having built a stronger immunity after the first time he drank in order to never suffer like that again. Alex didn't seem to notice that though. Thanks to the informant's stellar acting, he got the few words he was looking for, though he had to admit, the sake and the crying was going a bit overboard. Just a bit.

Izaya blamed it on Simon, for bringing in the sake in the first place. Satisfied and very full, Izaya decided that he would have to go rile up the monster again to get some exercise later. He went back to sleep, letting himself fall into the comfort of his soft mattress as he let his body slowly get rid of the last remnants of alcohol.


	25. Debt

**Chapter 25: Debt**

Laughter echoed all around the area, as Izaya sprinted away like lightning, the beast close on his tail.

"Shizu-chan~ Shizu-chan~ you're so slow~!" Izaya cackled, just barely dodging a flying lamp post, "Is this what my few weeks of neglect rendered you to? It seems I have to pay more attention to you, right~? Shi-zu-chaaaan~!"

"SHADDUPPPPPP!" Shizuo roared, and quickly grabbed the nearest object, a park bench, and tossed it at the informant like it was nothing, "STAY OUT OF IKEBUKURO!"

"Really? Is that all you've got~? You need to come up with some new material Shizu-chan~!"

"GRAAAGHHHH!" Shizuo bellowed in fury, and ran straight at the informant, swinging a pedestrian crossings sign like a sword, "GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS!"

"What if I don't want my ass kicked?!"

As usual, public property flew all over the place, constantly missing the nimble target the would never stay in one place for more than a second. The 'target', being Izaya, was very pleased he could help the monster pile up on property bills, as he kept count of every single vending machine that flew past his face. Apparently the city mayor was deciding to build more objects like vending machines, or other things of the like, in hopes that they would be able to wring more money out of the no-brains-only-brawn bartender who never seemed to catch on. Being the honorable person Izaya was, he gladly helped the mayor pile up on debts to give to Shizu-chan.

When he finally counted to the right number of public property thrown, he skidded to a stop, and patiently waited for the monster to catch up, who was still fuming and tossing signs at him from afar. At the last moment, when Shizuo was about to run him over, Izaya stepped out of the way and tripped the bartender, causing Shizuo to fall face first onto the sidewalk.

"I was right, you really have gotten out of shape," Izaya sighed, and backed away from the bartender, who jumped to his feet with a slight nosebleed, "What're you going to do now~?"

"What do you mean, flea?!" Shizuo grinned, cigar letting out smoke, his eyes glazing in fury as he lifted an unbolted bike rack like it was made of toothpicks, "I'm gonna crush you!"

"I see we totally ignored my, out-of-shape remark," Izaya rolled his eyes, standing a safe distance away from the beast, "I wasn't referring to your size though, I was talking about your _800 million yen debt _to the government."

"What're you talking about, Izaya-kun?" Shizuo's eyes narrowed, as his grip on the bike rack tightened, "Don't tell me you're trying to stall."

"I'm not!" Izaya objected, taking a step back upon seeing the bartender stiffen in preparation of tossing the thing, "I know about your debt to the government, Shizu-chan, and that's how much it's at right now. 800 million~"

"Don't be stupid, I was almost done paying it off! And I haven't even destroyed too much ever since you-" Shizuo paused, and let the cigar that he had been clenching in his mouth fall to the ground, "IT'S YOUR DAMN FAULT!"

"Well, it's your own fault for not being able to control yourself," Izaya sighed, "As expected of a protozoan. How much do you think a vending machine costs? One single unit costs at least 320 thousand yen. Think about everything else you've destroyed, including building walls, street rails, lamp posts, stop signs..."

"You're the one who made me do it!"

"Don't be such a child Shizu-chan, no one's making you go nuts and destroy things..." _but then again, you are a monster_ "I can help you pay it off though... no strings attached~!"

Utterly enraged by the suggestion, Shizuo tossed the bike rack towards Izaya like a javelin, who dodged it with ease. The bike rack smashed into the building behind him, which led to Izaya quickly calculating the new total of Shizu-chan's debt; another 500 thousand yen added to the cost.

"I guess that's a 'no' then," Izaya giggled frivolously, watching as Shizuo kept on destroying and destroying his surroundings, "Well, you know where to find me when things get too troublesome..."

By the time Shizuo had grabbed his next vending machine, Izaya was long gone.

Once he arrived back at his apartment, Izaya stripped his coat on the couch and plopped into his seat, feeling refreshed after his routine daily exercise that had been put off for a while. He quickly logged onto the Dollars webpage to check up on the message board, as he heard his door swing open again, which informed him that his secretary had arrived once again.

"Alex-kun~!" Izaya grinned, and greeted his human warmly, "Welcome back~!"

Alex greeted him back, humble and happy as usual, before quickly getting to work on the first thing of the day- making tea. Meanwhile, Izaya checked up on the rumors floating around Ikebukuro, feeling quite pleased on what he read. The 'Dollars' attacks had backed down, and the scarves were once again fighting between themselves, as per usual.

"As expected of Anri-chan~!" Izaya hummed, and scrolled down, wondering how his game was going to proceed next, "ah~, so many possiblilities."

His phone rang, and a familiar daunting classical tune of piano and guitar escaped from somewhere in the drawers of his desk. It took Izaya a while to find which phone it was, but eventually he got it. The tune Izaya had assigned obviously meant that it was Shiki's phone. After the assassination of Shiki's men, Izaya had kept an extra careful eye on the yakuza activities so that he could predict when the assassin returned (and also so that Shiki wouldn't be such a meanie poop). In truth, Izaya kind of wanted to assassin to return so that he could just talk to him already instead of searching for him.

"Yes Shiki-san?" Izaya said, standing up from his chair as he observed the outside view, "Don't tell me your men have been killed again~?"

"No, and if they were, I think you would know what would happen to you," Shiki's cold, smooth voice was broadcasted through from the receiver.

"Nothing scary I hope~?" Izaya chuckled, feeling the cool glass under his palms as he observed the ant-sized people below.

"I'm sure you know..."

"Hehe... of course I do~"

After much fooling around and teasing (the usual routine for Izaya), It turned out that Shiki had another job for him. Izaya listened carefully as Shiki explained the details, while he quickly made not of it in his head. Another informant was digging information on them, and it was seriously damaging the security of the group. Private information was being passed around, information that should've never reached the ears of outsiders.

Shiki wanted the other informant gone.

Izaya would've asked how Shiki knew that it wasn't him who was giving out information, but he didn't need to, as he had Shiki's response, the same reply he gave every time, almost memorized. "It won't be you, because if it is, then I'll have to dispose of you." Izaya mimicked, pretending to be a certain serious yakuza leader, as he spun around in his chair, playing make-believe, "Oh, and you also have to finish this assignment while you're at it, and if my members die it's all totally your fault you smart, handsome, beautiful, amazing information broker, _Orihara of Shinjuku_~!" He blinked a couple of times while he imagined Shiki say that line, before snorting and bursting into laughter.

"Tea," Alex said simply, as he set the cup down on the table, "It's still hot."

"Okay Alex-kun~!" Izaya hummed contently, returned to scrolling on the message board, "Thanks, my talented secretary~!"

Izaya sometimes wondered if Alex ever got tired of blushing, when he noticed the ears of his secretary go red. He shrugged and returned to his laptop, his brain immediately buzzing back to the other plots and schemes he planned to put into action, finding ways to incorporate the bonus puzzle piece into his game.


	26. Father Daughter

I feel like things are going way too slow. Time to speed things up. Next chapter that is, hehe.

**Chapter 26: Father Daughter**

"Hello?" Izaya said simply, still busily typing away after picking up his cellphone, "Who is it?"

"Y-You..." a weak voice emitted from the receiver, which Izaya didn't pay much attention to, very much concentrated on his work. He did take note that it was the voice of an older man, perhaps in his sixties or seventies, and he sounded quite distressed.

"Yes, what about me?" He replied, absentmindedly thinking if he knew someone who fitted the profile.

"Where's my daughter?" the other man whimpered, which caused Izaya cock his head in confusion. Daughter? Oh, of course. He dropped his things and stare at the phone number. It was encrypted, but Izaya didn't need to know who the unknown caller was, because it was such a dead give away. Of course, it was the old man who was in debt, the one who he saved from Amanda Ale and the yakuza a month or so back.

"My, you took a while to call me back didn't you?" Izaya laughed, and set his business aside to concentrate on the conversation, "I almost thought you had decided to ignore me~!"

"I don't c-care, just tell me where my daughter is," he growled, though to tell the truth, it sounded more vulnerable and meek than threatening.

"Well, _Makoto Sanada-san_," Izaya started, fiddling with his pocket knife, "I'm afraid I can't do that..."

Izaya heard a crash from the other end, and assumed that the old man was surprised Izaya knew who he was. Apparently the man had dropped something in his stressful situation. The old man cried desperately, "TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!"

"I am a information broker, Sanada-san," Izaya smiled, playing with his shiny silver pen as he leaned back far on his chair, "Nothing is for free... what can you give me, hm? Money? I doubt you have much of that now, hehe~"

"I-I'LL DO ANYTHING!" the older man sobbed into his phone, causing Izaya to frown at the sloppy wet sounds coming from the other end. Sanada took a moment to compose himself, before continuing, "I-I don't have m-money yet, b-but I'll have it, I, I swear."

"Ah, but Sanada-san, I wouldn't dream of taking money from you when you're in such a drastic situation~!" Izaya hummed, and swung the pen around like a knife, "How about you do something with your body instead? Would that be kinder on your empty wallet?"

"...e-eh?"

"Don't worry, it's nothing too dangerous~" Izaya grinned, "Here's what I want from you..."

After a detailed explanation, the old man agreed just as Izaya predicted he would. The informant hung up after saying he would tell him the location of his daughter after he completed his job. Izaya felt pleased. He finally managed to acquire the one piece that would be essential for his plan, and for once he felt somewhat protected against those who wanted him dead. Or alive, depends on their interests. Didn't really matter, as Izaya didn't plan on getting caught anyways.

He gave another call to the man's daughter, who picked up like a good little human.

"Hello Izaya-san?" her voice filtered through the receiver, slightly cautious.

"Well, hello again Sana-chan," Izaya greeted pleasantly, and received a happy welcome from his precious little human, "I have some bad news for you."

"Oh no! Are the police on our tail again?" she replied, sounding quite worried.

"Fortunately not," Izaya replied, and grinned at her choice of words. _'Our' tail?_ The police could check all they want, but they would never know that the girl was receiving the help of Orihara of Shinjuku. No, Izaya wasn't in the play after all, he was just the puppeteer, "But your father called. He wants to know where you are."

"That, that stupid bastard!" the girl hissed, "Does he want to drag me back again? To that horrid life of constant debts and stupid lies? Tell him to piss off!"

"Well, you know I could never use such foul language~," Izaya chuckled, and he could mentally see the girl cringe and blush in embarrassment on the other end of the line, "I did tell him that I wouldn't reveal your position though."

"Thank you Izaya-san," she breathed, seeming relieved.

"Ah~ but don't calm down just yet!" Izaya warned softly, visualizing the girl blink in confusion, "Your dad seems to have enlisted the help of the yakuza with his last savings, and he's gotten them to help find you."

"WHAT?!" the girl stiffens, fear creeping into her eyes, "W-what're we going to do now?!"

"I'm already monitoring all yakuza activity along with the police," Izaya said soothingly, "I'll tell you when they come near. What I need you to do though, is from now on until I send you a text message of further notice, that every time you see me call you by phone, you immediately pack up and get out of your current living area. Things are getting heavier, and if you don't want to get caught, you'll have to be on the move more often."

The girl on the other end seemed to stay quiet, engrossed in her thought. Izaya knew that she was starting to doubt her decisions, and he couldn't allow that. When a human makes a decision, they should stick to it after all~ He let out a large sigh, that attracted her attention back to the phone.

"Listen, Kana Sanada," Izaya said, in a voice that seemed to mesmerize whoever heard it, "I will _absolutely_ not let you get in the hands of the yakuza or the police. When this all ends, you'll be free at last, free of your father and his debts and burdens, free of all the chains that hold you down now from doing what you want. I want to free you, so please let me... won't you? Sana-chan?"

"...y-yes, Izaya-san!"

"I'm glad that you've been so strong until now, my precious little human~" Izaya chuckled, a laugh that didn't reach his eyes, like he was convincing a toddler to do something for him, "Good night."

"Good night... Izaya-san."

Finally, the girl hung up and Izaya was able to take a breather. All the theatrics were tiring him out. He remembered a verse he had heard from a kids movie, that he really liked that he heard from somewhere. What's the difference between a villain and a super villain? The answer was, "Presentation!" Of course, he wouldn't consider himself a villain of any sort, but he liked the thought.

"Tea?" Alex asked, standing up from his spot on the couch where he was surrounded by paperwork.

"Coffee," Izaya disagreed, and watched as his secretary obediently left for the kitchen to brew a strong one, just what Izaya liked. Izaya stared at the paperwork Alex was dealing with, all pertaining to multiple cases and pleas for help, ranging from finding serial murderers to helping to catch a rich person's cat. He was a little preoccupied at the moment by his own game, but he hoped he could get onto some soon, it felt heartbreaking to let all those humans wait.

"Ah~ so busy," he sighed, spinning around in his chair as he looked out towards the night sky. It was almost time for Alex to return, yet there was still so much to do. Maybe he should ask for Alex to stay longer...? No, not worth the trouble. Izaya had things to do that he didn't want Alex to know about just yet.

Izaya hummed contently, and pressed the send button on his phone, watching as the screen display the words 'MESSAGE SENT'. He snapping his phone shut, excited for the upcoming turmoil he had set off.


	27. Milk is for the Angry

Hm, I feel kind of bad for not updating for so long.

I'll give you two chapters in a day to make up for it.

**Chapter 27: Milk for the Angry**

"Nice job," Tom congratulated Shizuo with a pat on the back, "Lucky for us, we had a short list of tenants we had to visit, so we've finished our quota for today. I'm going to go report to the higher ups that we're done, so you can take the rest of the day off."

"Right, thanks Tom-san," Shizuo smiled, and waved his employer goodbye as he walked away. Shizuo was in a particularly good mood. He hadn't seen the louse for nearly two weeks since he reappeared, and so far everything was going just as he liked it. He didn't run out of toothpaste this morning, and the clothes he got from Kasuka was in perfect condition. Shizuo didn't even have to punch anyone that day, because his death glare sufficed plenty when it came to scaring tenants into paying.

His phone vibrated, and he flipped it out of his pocket to take a look. Tom had sent him a message, saying that they were going to get a raise. Along with that, there was a message from his little brother that seemed to have been sent last night. It really was a good day, Kasuka had just emailed him despite his crazy busy schedule. He was appearing in one film to another constantly, more than ever, and Shizuo was proud of his little brother for being so liked and so famous.

_I have a day off today. The set was ruined by the snow. Want to meet? _

_I'll be waiting at Russia Sushi at 12pm_

_-Kasuka_

Shizuo couldn't help but grin, and stuffed his phone back into his pocket after replying with a quick, _'sure, I'll see you there'_. He couldn't help but be excited that he was going to see his younger sibling again. Should he get something for Kasuka? Kasuka was always getting him things (along with the endless supply of bartender uniforms). Shizuo was suddenly struck by the realization that... he didn't know what Kasuka would want.

How could this be? I'm the big brother, I should know! Shizuo repeated that thought in his head endless times, as he wandered around the district looking for stores that sold things that looked like something Kasuka would like. But what would Kasuka like? Shizuo was stuck.

Just when he was about to throw a fit and give up (to his disappointment and shame), he smelled the foul scent of trouble. Damn, just when he was having a fine day, the louse had to show up and ruin it for him.

"Damn you louse, I oughta-*" he yelled, just about to smack a stop sign into the face of whom he was sure was Izaya, but paused halfway to find a pretty-looking girl with her hood up, so that he couldn't see her face very well.

"We meet again...?" The girl asked delicately, and gave a small smile, "How do you do?"

"Tch," Shizuo grumbled, and tossed the sign aside, "It's just you huh?"

"Haha~ what cold treatment!" she giggled, and quieted down, "You look like you're in a fix."

Shizuo felt bad for treating the girl that way, he really did. He didn't know why, but he couldn't seem to get along with the girl. This girl gave off those 'I'm an annoying flea' vibes, but she wasn't and he knew that. He had seen it with his own eyes, seeing the girl do something he was absolutely sure that Izaya would never do. Plus, that louse, dressing up as a girl? Even blood-sucking fleas had to have more pride than that.

"Are you looking to buy a present?" She hummed, and picked up a small plushy bear that had fallen to the ground, " Well, even if you don't know what to buy, it's the thought that counts."

"Ah, well," Shizuo was a little surprised at how soft her tone was, and still not used to the fact that she didn't seem to be scared of him at all, "My brother's always doing things for me, so I want to give back something. Even if it's really bad, I want to give something that he'll like."

By the time he finished talking, he had a slight blush on his cheeks, a little embarrassed that he had just let that out.

"For a brother eh~?" The girl pursed her lips, and rested her hand on her chin, "You could get him something that is related to his occupation. Like, if he's a manager, get him a notebook to organize himself with."

"He's erm... that's going to be difficult."

"Why? What's his job?"

"...none of your business."

"Ehhh?" She tugged gently on Shizuo's sleeve, "You've opened up to me about your problem and you're going to close up now? What about the present? Didn't you want to give something back?"

Shizuo remained silent at that, as he reminded himself that this girl could possibly have ulterior motives, while at the same time reprimanding himself for pulling away from someone that was just trying to help. After a little inner turmoil, he sighed and decided to just accept her help. Maybe a girl's opinion would be better than someone like him who was just boneheaded.

"He's... a movie star."

"An... movie star?!" She gasped, and started to laugh, "I see I see! An actor huh? That's gonna be difficult!"

"Yeah, do you know what would be good to give him...?" He trailed off, slightly mesmerized by how cute her laugh was, while at the same time annoyed that there would be someone in existence who could be so charming with so much ease.

"Who is he? Would I know him?"

"Uh... Yuuhei Hanejima."

For the first time since he bumped into her, the girl looked up straight into his eyes in awe and wonder, her red eyes seeming to bore into his. She looked like the flea, the way she looked at him resembled the way Izaya looked at him when they grinded their foreheads together like it was a competition to see who's bruise would be the worst (Shizuo usually won that game).

"Y-YUUHEI HANEJIMA?!" She exclaimed, before quickly quieting herself, "Ah, too loud, sorry," She squeaked, "I read an interview about him~! He's the guy who's been appearing in all those movies right? In that vampire movie Daylight, in that other super hero movie Small Villain 9- that one's my favorite, so cute~!"

"...yeah," Shizuo said, her chatter slightly getting on his nerves, despite the pride that swelled in him, seeing how much Kasuka was liked.

"Ah! Sorry!" the girl put her hands over her mouth and calmed herself, "If you're wondering what he likes, he said in the interview that he feels neutral about most things, except that he really likes his brother."

"W-WELL YEAH!" Shizuo exclaimed, feeling embarrassed but yet extremely happy that his brother would say something like that, "Anything else?"

"Umm, he also likes milk," she smiled, and pointed to the local convenience store, "He likes to pour milk for his brother whenever he gets too headstrong. The milk sold there is really good~ why don't you pour him some milk?"

Shizuo could still remember the memories of when he would pace around in irritation because of a certain blood-sucking louse, and the times when Kasuka would pour him a glass of milk, "Wouldn't that be too simple?"

"I'm sure he'll appreciate it," The girl stood on her toes and seemed to try to mimic Kasuka when her face turned comically neutral and poker-faced, "...I really like this milk... thanks brotheeeeer..."

"I see," Shizuo replied, and started heading for the convenience store, deep in thought, "What kind of milk should I get? Original? 2% fat? No, that's unhealthy... Oh wait, I didn't thank her yet... Oi lady, tha-"

When he turned around, no one was there anymore, like she was whisked away by the wind. Shizuo shrugged, pretty sure that he would meet her again someday, and properly thank her. Presents come first. Today was a good day indeed.

"Oh Shizu-chan~ you're so cuuuute~" the girl snickered, far away and high up on a building that had an easy view of the convenience store, "Buying a present for your brother... I guess you'll learn soon enough that all you can bring is misfortune~"


	28. You Want to Stay Away, but You Can't

**Chapter 28: You Want to Stay Away, but You Can't**

"Kasuka, I'm here!" Shizuo announced upon barging into the restaurant.

"No need to be so loud Ni-san," Kasuka said upon seeing him, seeming as calm and collected as ever as he sipped his tea, "You'll disturb other customers."

Shizuo felt quite relieved that even while they haven't spoken for ages, things were still the same as ever as they both talked about their everyday lives, and what they had been up to the past few months. Taking off his glasses, settled down at the table and began to converse with his little brother, who too seemed happy to see him.

"...Man, you sure are amazing," Shizuo grinned, as tried to choose which sushi he wanted to eat, "To think you'd be doing three movies at once."

Kasuka shrugged as he slowly chewed his food, "What about you Ni-san?"

"Don't worry about me, the gig I have with Tom-san is still working out fine," Shizuo replied, seeming quite content, "Plus, we even got a raise."

Kasuka nodded, "I'm glad to hear that."

"Really, it's quite amazing how well this day's been going. It almost makes me feel like something bad is going to mess it up real soon," Shizuo grumbled, suddenly becoming sullen, "That flea's back in Ikebukuro again, what could he be possibly be planning this time... I swear, I'll kill him before-"

He snapped out of it, when Kasuka placed something on the table. A small carton of milk, the same brand he used to always give him when he was pissed off. Shizuo blinked a few times, before sighing and giving a smile.

"Alright, I get it. I'll try to keep myself in check," he chuckled, and took a swig of it, "You know, it's funny. I thought you'd be pretty busy, so I also got you a carton of milk... to you know, relieve stress."

Kasuka watched as Shizuo pulled the exact same brand of milk on the table, and for a moment, a small smile broke out on his usually still and emotionless face, "Is that so... thank you."

"O-oh, it's nothing!" Shizuo replied, proud that he had managed to earn a smile out of his brother. He should really thank the woman when he saw her again, for helping him choose that gift. He would really try to not hit her this time, and properly greet her like a normal human being.

Suddenly, Kasuka's phone rang.

"Excuse me, ni-san," Kasuka said, and picked up the call, "Hello?"

He seemed to listen carefully to whoever was on the other side, while Shizuo watched curiously, munching on sushi. As expected of a famous actor, he seemed to have a lot of contacts and people who needed him.

"It's my manager," Kasuka informed Shizuo, after he had hung up, "The set has been fixed. They want to resume filming as soon as possible, so they want me back right now."

"Even on a day off?" Shizuo remarked, seeming quite disgruntled by the information, "You have it hard."

"...I could get out of it if you want," Kasuka said, phone ready at hand.

Shizuo immediately declined, and urged Kasuka to do what he had to do, "Seriously, no need to go so far. I'm sure we can see each other again sometimes. Go do your job, Kasuka." Truthfully he was disappointed that he wouldn't be able to talk more with him, but he didn't want to get in the way of Kasuka's acting career.

"Alright..." Kasuka stood up and looked Shizuo in the eyes, "Goodbye. Do your best."

"Do your best? That's what I should be saying to you," Shizuo laughed, and patted Kasuka on the back, "Don't overwork yourself."

He watched as Kasuka called a taxi and waved goodbye as he left, leaving himself feeling quite sad that the meeting was so short. At least he had been able to make Kasuka smile... Shizuo was about to pay the bill for the meal, to only find out that it had already been paid for by Kasuka.

"Idiot, at least let your older brother pay for your meals," he grumbled, and started go home, when someone stopped in front of him, blocking his path. He wore rectangular glasses with a black frame, and was dressed in a business uniform. He seemed to be someone important... or was he looking for a fight?

"Move," he said, looking the man straight in the eyes, hoping he could just scare the man away. If he managed to get through the day without a fight, he would celebrate or something.

The other just sighed, and said, "Pleased to meet you. I'm Yuuhei Hanejima-san's temporary manager, Akimoto Saitou." He handed Shizuo his business card, where under usual circumstances he would've just ignored, but seeing as this was Kasuka's manager, he felt compelled to take it.

"Is there something you want from me?" Shizuo asked, as he stuffed the card in his pockets.

"It's about your little brother, Kasuka-san," Akimoto said, which seemed to catch Shizuo's attention, "He's been continuously taking jobs, and I fear that he'll overwork himself."

"What? That's why he's been everywhere recently?!" Shizuo exclaimed, feeling angry that Kasuka didn't tell him about this.

"To be incredibly frank... Shizuo Heiwajima-san, I think it's your fault," he said cautiously.

Shizuo, unable to contain his anger, grabbed the man's collar and shouted, "WHAT WAS THAT, YOU BASTARD?!"

"H-He hasn't been taking up this many jobs since a few months ago, when your debt to the city hugely increased," the man bravely continued, as the knowledge that he was talking to the strongest man in Ikebukuro rang in his head, "All this time, he was the one who returned your debt to the government, and right now you're losing it a little too much, you've become too strong, and Kasuka-san's the one that is struggling to use all the money he gets from acting to keep your debt down to a manageable rate..."

Shizuo was shell shocked, and for a moment he couldn't move. Kasuka had been overworking himself, just because his older brother couldn't contain his temper and went around destroying everything like a kid having a tantrum. How could Kasuka not tell him this? Shizuo wanted to punch himself for being such a useless big brother, to think that a single milk carton would ease all of Kasuka's stress.

"By telling me this, what do you want me to do?" Shizuo said steely, his sharp cold gaze connecting straight to the other man's calmer and more steady gaze.

"Isn't it obvious? You're the big brother. Help your little brother out by behaving a little won't you?" the manager said, and carefully removed Shizuo's hands from his collar, "Please reflect on your actions and their consequences..."

The man walked away, leaving Shizuo standing there stiffly. Dammit this was all the flea's fault! If only he had never came back.

_'Don't be such a child Shizu-chan, no one's making you go nuts and destroy things~'_

How annoying. Shizuo couldn't help but get irritated when the louse's voice played itself in his head... though it was nevertheless true. No one made him throw things... it's just that Izaya made him angry, and that reason was enough to pacify for all his actions.

_'Well it's your own fault for not being able to control yourself... as expected of a protozoan'_

Shut up! What was he to do? How could he help Kasuka? It pissed him off that Izaya's words seemed to fit in every question he had, as if the flea had predicted that he would think this way and said those words to mock him. His debt collecting job didn't have that high of a pay, so there was no way he would be able to pay back the debt with only that salary, and he knew he didn't have it in him to take any other jobs (he would wreck everything).

_'I could help you pay it off though... no strings attached~!'_

There was no way he was going to search for the help of the flea. No way. Extra jobs were troublesome, but he'd rather do that than get help from a blood sucking pest who definitely had some evil plan that he wanted to include Shizuo in.

_'I guess that's no then... hehe~ Well, you know where to find me when things get too troublesome...'_

"DAMMIT IZAAAAYYYAAAAAA! SHUT UUUUP!"


	29. Sushi Love

**Chapter 29: Sushi Love**

"Hmmm..." Izaya rubbed his hands, as he tried to pick what he wanted from the sushi menu. He had got a Russia Sushi coupon, and he wanted to use it before it expired (which would be the day afterwards). Normally he would make Alex get it for him, but sitting all day was doing no good for his physique.

"Oh? No fatty tuna?" Simon asked, as he noticed Izaya at the counter, standing around instead of straight away choosing his favorite sushi.

"That's right Simon~ I feel like having some diversity in my diet," Izaya said, smiling as he tried to decide which one he wanted. Fatty tuna was all he ever wanted and what he still only wanted, but it was about time to try something new, though he never really thought about it when he chose from the menu.

While he lingered around, reading the small descriptions added beside the sushi's picture, he noticed Simon perked up slightly.

"What is it Simon?"

"Shizuo is coming."

Not wanting to run away before he decided which sushi he wanted, he darted behind the counter next to Simon and pulled the wig out of his coat, not caring if the sushi man saw him hurrying to apply make-up and all. If not bewildered, Simon was actually very amused at Izaya's reaction, which lead to the informant giving Simon a look that clearly stated, 'don't you dare laugh'.

"Yo Simon," Shizuo said, once he was in earshot, "How's it going."

"Shizuo! You come back for sushi!" Simon grinned a wide and welcoming smile, "I suggest Red Dragon sushi! Very good! Very healthy!"

Which one was that? Not minding as much if Shizuo caught him, now that he had the whole disguise on, Izaya took a tentative peek over the counter he hid behind to peek at the menu. It turned out to be a 'Chef's Specialty' full course. It was obviously the most expensive meal, though it did indeed look like a red dragon the way it was arranged. Izaya was just about to duck back under the counter, only for Shizuo to grab his hood and drag him out of his hiding place.

"Well well... who could this be?" the bartender growled with a sinister grin as Izaya meeped and tried to keep his hood on his head. The monster's grip was like iron steel.

"Ah~ Stop it!" Izaya said in his feminine voice, as he tried to pry the hands off his hood, "My poor coat... my hood! It costed so much~

Shizuo blinked at the unexpected voice, before sighing, "Tch, it's just that woman," he grunted, and let go of Izaya's fur coat roughly, before plopping down on the chair next to him, "Oi Simon! One red dragon!"

"You're seriously ordering that? There's no way you can finish it all," Izaya said, watching as the stupid monster seemed to ignore his comment, keeping his eyes on Simon who immediately told Dennis the order. Izaya carefully sat next to Shizuo, keeping his hood on so that his face couldn't be seen so well, and copied what Shizuo was doing.

It was maybe around 4-5 awkward minutes before the sushi arrived, looking quite decorated and extravagant for something that was to be consumed within the next few moments. It was nearly the size of a small child, and the dragon "eyes" (which were actually roe) seemed to be glaring at him, accusing him for his intentions of eating the sushi beast. The informant couldn't help but applaud Dennis for doing such a fast and skillful job constructing this consumable dragon structure.

"Enjoy!" Simon said proudly, and left the two alone with a strange smile that Izaya could only deem as a smile that hid his inner laughter. The sushi man was probably laughing his guts out, at the sight of the powerful Orihara of Shinjuku dressed as a girl and sitting leisurely beside the man who would strangle him if he knew who he was.

Izaya sat there for a few minutes staring in awe at the dragon, before he felt the monster's gaze on him. Izaya knew of the monster's sharp intuition, and hoped it wasn't because he did his make-up wrong. He slowly turned around, similar to a animal tamer around a ferocious tiger, and gave a weak smile, "Aren't you going to eat?"

Shizuo's eyes narrowed, and Izaya started to feel slightly nervous by the unfamiliar way Shizuo was acting.

"It's for you."

The words slid out of the bartenders mouth like a breath of wind, as if he had been figuring out how to say it and ended up just letting slip out of his mouth. It made Izaya raise a few alerts. What could this mean? Was the apocalypse happening? No, then maybe this was a dream- of course not, he would never dream of something this stupid.

"...Eh?" Izaya replied, slightly unsure of how to react.

"Err, well," Shizuo started roughly, a slight blush spreading over his cheeks as he averted his gaze, seeming to look everywhere but at Izaya, "I-It's a thank you for helping me choose a gift for my brother."

Ah, that makes sense. The monster wanted to repay him. So even beasts like him knew of delicacy? Did he want to become friends now? How laughable~

"No need~ it was sweet of you to buy a present for your brother in the first place," Izaya chuckled, giving a kind smile while he was at it, "You really love your brother, don't you~?"

Shizuo blinked, before adjusting his sunglasses with a shy smile, "Shut up and eat."

In the end, Izaya had managed to convince Shizuo to eat with him, but was still forced to take much of it home. The informant refused help when Shizuo suggested he could carry the heavy load home for him, making up the excuse that his parents wouldn't react kindly if they figured out that he was walking home with another guy (which choked a laugh out of him). After Shizuo left, Izaya let out a breath of relief and collapsed into the chair, watching wearily as Simon came up to him in an almost triumphant manner.

"What is it Simon?" Izaya said, expecting the sushi man to laugh at him or something.

Simon observed the female Izaya for a few moments and broke out a large shiny grin, showing off his white teeth, "I like this Izaya better."

Izaya blinked, processing the words in his head, and burst laughing, "Is that so? In that case, maybe I should go get sex change~!"

Simon nodded approvingly. Izaya not sure if he was nodding at his attitude while he pretended to be female, or the idea of changing genders (he hoped the former). Left alone at the counter with a small pile of red sushi, Izaya stared at the deformed face of the once tall and mighty dragon.

He grabbed his chopsticks, ate a piece, and sighed. "Well, it's just as I thought. Only fatty tuna will do it for me."


End file.
